Merged Quotes and Sayings Thread; some useful, some junk

[NavalGent]

I've heard this one from my BF while he was in exercise in Farnham during BOTP (I will try to textualise the french accent as best I can) This is what a member of the staff said to get the troops moving.

"Urrry up esti!  di ennemi is coming-eh!" ... I laugh real hard when he does the immitation for me!   ;D

Ah, yes, I was there so I'll add some context. This was first said to our platoon in a topo review class at the beginning of the course. It was accompanied by much light-switch flickering and desk-banging. Although we understood the intent (that is, to add stress while we practiced finding points on the map something), it was rather ridiculous to see this Sgt jump around flicking the lights and banging the desks, so it drew quite a bit of muted chuckles from the platoon. It was later repeated, imitated and lightheartedly ridiculed. When this instructor repeated it in the field, we all remembered the class and it was kinda funny.

 

[17thRecceSgt]

I was teaching on CLC in '96 in Gagetown..drill mutuals...one of our Bdr's was giving his lesson and went off at the Section during "his correcting"

"ARMS...SHOULDER WIDTH APART"

"I only want to hear one foot hitting the floor!" (there was 7 people in the section...6 of them hovering I guess)...

and our Pltn Commander, on the def pos after the "chemical attk" and stand-too...we hear someone open up over in 1 Sect...see the acting (and severely sleep deprived) Section Cmdr opening up into his Bravo trench (they had fallen asleep)....yells...

"JESUS CHRIST **** THIS ISN'T THE TURKISH ARMY!!!  CEASE FIRE CEASE FIRE"....the Section's DS was laughing too hard to get off the ground...

from one of the SSM's I worked for...

"If you people **** up one more time, you are going to jail....J-A-L-E jail!"  and was all the more 'amused' when we started laughin...

Movies quotes...Full Metal Jacket takes the cake...

"HERE YOU ARE ALL EQUALLY WORTHLESS"

"DID YOU PARENTS HAVE ANY CHILDREN THAT LIVED?"""  (Pte Pile - SIR YES SIR)...Gny Hartman "I BET THEY REGRET THAT"

:rofl:

 

[ps387]

One of my favourties from one of my MCpls early in our course...

"Stop looking at me! I have a wife and two kids, I don't need you in my life!"

 

[Scipio]

Stop quoting Law.  We have Swords. - Pompei The Great

 

[17thRecceSgt]

 

during Basic Para...one of our PIs was a french Cmbt Engr...he was giving us crap one time...

"when I call 9206, I want to hear one loud HAIRBORNE...you gots that?!?!?!?!?!?!"

we just stood there...looking at each other...you could see everyone had the same thought in their mind...

:rofl:

 

[Hot Lips]

To quote the MudMan...hehehe

While disciplining students on course (as recounted by the MudMan) he proceeded to holler this at a student who hadn't been where he/she should have been...

"I'll tell you where you were Bloggins...you were AWOL...AWAY ON LEAVE"

Gotcha... :-*
HL

 

[17thRecceSgt]

ya ya ya, ok    ;D

That was many moons ago...and I was mad as hell...cause the soldier WAS AWOL (Absent Without Leave)...as opposed to...what I said...I remember Murph and GQ laughin' their a**'s off when I said it though...

 

[Hot Lips]

Wasn't there another one MudMan...something along the lines of...

"If you never stay wet...you'll always be cold"

lol

HL

 

[Pte AJB]

"It's not rocket scientists"

Repeated on course multiple times a day. Not the most memorable, but amusing. Never did find out if he was doing it on purpose or not.

 

[orange.paint]

One guy at work told me they usually mumble this when they are getting "the coc*" out west:

Fuck the men,feed the horses.

I find it humorous.

 

[Trooper Hale]

Young recruit at Kapooka getting a lesson on rank etc, puts his hand up and asks "Corporal, what that crown mean?"
A big deep voice from the back of the room...
"Means I'm KING!"

 

[Trooper Hale]

One of my Corporals at Kapooka had a favorite line (although i'm sure someones already put it up)
"MEN, Its not Rocket Surgery"
To which another my section commander would chip in,
"But we are trying to save this Rockets life!"...
Rocket Surgery is still one of my favorite lines

 

[Dizzy]

Our M/Cpl on QL2 had a few good ones.

On why he didn't care for running  "Running is for f***s, stand and fight!"

On Bayonet drill "Stick 'em, stick 'em until you're drowning in his brain juices!"

 

[orange.paint]

Our course warrant on armoured battle school during pt one morning,

"were changing up PT today to a bike ride" (we all get excited.)"we dont have any bikes so it's going to seem a hell of a lot like running."

 

[Old Sweat]

Scenario: The Artillery Department of the Combat Arms School in the summer of 1974 shortly after the Turkish invasion of Cyprus and a couple of weeks before the rest of the Airborne Regiment deployed to reinforce the 1 Commando Group there. We had a TQ3 course nearing graduation, including a number of young gunners who had volunteered for the airborne battery. The Commander FMC learned of this (I made a point of mentioning it to him) and he ordered us to despatch them to Edmonton forthwith.

One of the gunners approached his course officer the next day and reported that his mother had told him that he couldn't go to Cyprus unless he came home to see her first. At which point the following dialogue took place.

Course Officer: 'Is your mother's maiden name Dextrazze?' [The CDS at the time]

Young Gunner: 'No Sir.'

Course Officer: 'Then write her a nice, long letter.'

 

[Thompson_JM]

Relayed to me by a co-worker (Ex Maroon Beret type now RMS) in reference to one of his daughters "gentlemen" callers

as his daughter and her male freind were getting a little close her brother walks in and says to him "My dad is crazy enough to jump out of airplanes.... what do you think he would do to you?"

Guy never came back....

 

[ExSarge]

From one of many memorable NCO's I served with: "Pte Smith, there are four ways of doing things in this man's army; the right way, the wrong way, my way or the Army way. Now, my way, is the Army way, and the Army way is the right way if I ever see you doing it the wrong way again I'll put by boot so far up your ass you will spit boot polish!".
From a great Plt Sgt to a brand new second Lt. on asking where his fighting position is. "Sir, your standing in it. You just haven't thrown the dirt out"
Same guy on seeing a Young replacement bringing a guitar on a field exercise. "Son, there will be no time for humming an strumming. You will be shooting and scooting.

 

[ExistancE]

On bmq on during inspection

Mcpl - Bloggins, where the **** is your shaving cream?
Pte - Don't have any Master Corporal!
Mcpl - Then how the **** do you shave?
Pte - With a razor Master Corporal!

On bmq while trying to teach the 'no excuse' principle.

Mcpl - Bloggins, you've got a thread. Why?
Pte - Couldn't burn it off Mcpl.
Mcpl - Why not?
Pte (confused) - because I don't have a lighter Mcpl.
Mcpl - Why not?
Pte (more confused) - because I don't smoke Mcpl.
Mcpl - Why not?
Pte (terrified) - because it's bad for my health Mcpl?
Mcpl - that doesn't mean you can't carry a lighter though, does it bloggins?
Pte - I don't want people to assume and wind up subject to the social stigma that smokers face Mcpl.
Mcpl - oh for ****'s sake, just say "no excuse".
Pte - No excuse Mcpl.

 

[recon532002]

I've Done So Much With So Little For So Long I Can Do Almost Anything With Nothing 

                                                                                                                    RECON

 

[Black Watch]

on SQ during inspection:

MCPL: Private, what the F*** is wrong with your gas mask?
Me: Nothing, mcpl
MCPL: You sure??? It looks like old crap from WWII
Me: Probably, MCPL
MCPL: You sure it's in working order??
Me: Yes, Mcpl!
MCPL: Ok then, GAS GAS GAS!!!And stay like that for th rest of the inspection!



(Comments with overt sexual connotations removed by Moderator)