- Reaction score
- 2,889
- Points
- 940
And that's in the Saab JAS 39 Gripen :nod:
More and more funnies.. vol: something...
- Thread starter Timmy!
- Start date
medicineman
Army.ca Legend
- Reaction score
- 6,098
- Points
- 1,110
What JM neglected to show was even funnier video - the poor slob trying to put the thing back for an hour :nod:
- Reaction score
- 35
- Points
- 560
Science teacher suspended for teaching....science
http://boingboing.net/2014/04/11/high-school-science-teacher-su.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter
I'm starting to agree with Glenn Reynolds (Instapundit) that sending children to Public Schools (at least in the US) is a form of child abuse. I have a few horror stories of my own about Canadian public schools, but nothing to compare to this sort of stupidity.
http://boingboing.net/2014/04/11/high-school-science-teacher-su.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter
I'm starting to agree with Glenn Reynolds (Instapundit) that sending children to Public Schools (at least in the US) is a form of child abuse. I have a few horror stories of my own about Canadian public schools, but nothing to compare to this sort of stupidity.
- Reaction score
- 2,889
- Points
- 940
Speaking of children......
- Reaction score
- 4
- Points
- 430
Thucydides said:
I suppose my Grade 11 Chem teacher would be fired for his first day demo of putting a balloon full of hydrogen up to a flame, with obvious results.
It's good to know that eventually we will loose all knowledge of how to make dangerous things and then the world will be safe from mankind. And common sense.
George Wallace
Army.ca Dinosaur
- Reaction score
- 208
- Points
- 710
cupper said:
And the Environmentalists and Greenpeace followers will be happy as all knowledge of how to produce octane filled fuels will be forgotten and no automobiles, trains, ships and aircraft will be able to move without Bennett Buggy horse power. :
- Reaction score
- 2,889
- Points
- 940
Oh, and happy Easter.
:nod:
Retired AF Guy
Army.ca Veteran
- Reaction score
- 1,009
- Points
- 1,160
Are You a Redneck Jedi?
You might be a Redneck Jedi if….
. You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
. Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
. At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
. You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
. Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side…it’ll be a hoot.”
. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
. You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.
. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
. If you hear . . . “Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle.”
You might be a Redneck Jedi if….
. You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
. Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
. At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.
. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.
. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
. You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
. Your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son come on over to the dark side…it’ll be a hoot.”
. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.
. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
. You ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
. You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.
. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.
. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.
. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.
. If you hear . . . “Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle.”
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 230
A Newfoundlander living in Toronto decided to visit the Scarborough zoo. While there, he saw a man with an elephant act.
The man claimed the elephant could look at a person and tell that person's age. The trainer had the elephant look at a small boy.
The elephant stamped its foot 9 times. "Is that right?" he asked the boy. "Oh yes", said the boy.
The Newfie was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain terms. Finally, the trainer could take it no longer, and offered to bet the Newfie that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age. The Newfie accepted the wager. The elephant looked very closely at the skeptic, then turned around, raised his tail and broke wind like you wouldn't believe. Then he turned back around and stomped his foot twice.
The Newfie stumbled back, amazed, and with a sound of disbelief in his voice, cried, "Lard tunderin' Jaysus b'y, he's right!!!!
I'm farty-two!"
The man claimed the elephant could look at a person and tell that person's age. The trainer had the elephant look at a small boy.
The elephant stamped its foot 9 times. "Is that right?" he asked the boy. "Oh yes", said the boy.
The Newfie was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain terms. Finally, the trainer could take it no longer, and offered to bet the Newfie that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age. The Newfie accepted the wager. The elephant looked very closely at the skeptic, then turned around, raised his tail and broke wind like you wouldn't believe. Then he turned back around and stomped his foot twice.
The Newfie stumbled back, amazed, and with a sound of disbelief in his voice, cried, "Lard tunderin' Jaysus b'y, he's right!!!!
I'm farty-two!"
British Al Qaeda union set to strike
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife.?? Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this July from 72 to only 54.?? The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers’ union, the British Organisation of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.O.M.), responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members, and immediately balloted for strike action.?? General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, “Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad.?? We don’t ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth.”
Speaking from the shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, “We sympathize with our workers’ concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.?? They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off.?? I don’t like cutting wages, but I’d hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.”
Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as “There are no virgins in their areas anyway”.
Another reason for the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle — now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, that they are not so keen on going to Paradise.
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife.?? Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this July from 72 to only 54.?? The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers’ union, the British Organisation of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.O.M.), responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members, and immediately balloted for strike action.?? General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, “Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad.?? We don’t ask for much in return, but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth.”
Speaking from the shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, “We sympathize with our workers’ concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.?? They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off.?? I don’t like cutting wages, but I’d hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.”
Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as “There are no virgins in their areas anyway”.
Another reason for the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle — now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, that they are not so keen on going to Paradise.
- Reaction score
- 1,541
- Points
- 1,160
A cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Saratoga, Wyoming. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a full bowl of chilli.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, ‘If you ain’t gonna eat that, mind if I do?’
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, ‘Nah, you go ahead.’
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfs up the chilli back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, ‘Yep, that’s as far as I got too.’
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, ‘If you ain’t gonna eat that, mind if I do?’
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, ‘Nah, you go ahead.’
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli. The sight was very shocking and he immediately barfs up the chilli back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, ‘Yep, that’s as far as I got too.’
- Reaction score
- 4,642
- Points
- 1,260
The Staff Officer’s Creed
With apologies to the USMC:
This is my slide deck. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My slide deck is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
My slide deck, without me, is useless. Without my slide deck, I am useless. I must format my bullet points true. I must brief so as to counter my S3 who is trying to sharpshoot me. I must answer his RFIs before he throws me under the bus. I will…
My slide deck and I know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the vehicle slant and PERSTAT that counts. We will hit…
My slide deck is human, even as I, because brigade has given it a life of its own. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its transition settings and its formatting. I will keep my slide deck updated daily, even as I am updated daily by the XO. We will become part of each other. We will…
Before God, I swear this creed. My slide deck and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace!
Source
With apologies to the USMC:
This is my slide deck. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My slide deck is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.
My slide deck, without me, is useless. Without my slide deck, I am useless. I must format my bullet points true. I must brief so as to counter my S3 who is trying to sharpshoot me. I must answer his RFIs before he throws me under the bus. I will…
My slide deck and I know that what counts in this war is not the rounds we fire, the noise of our burst, nor the smoke we make. We know that it is the vehicle slant and PERSTAT that counts. We will hit…
My slide deck is human, even as I, because brigade has given it a life of its own. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its transition settings and its formatting. I will keep my slide deck updated daily, even as I am updated daily by the XO. We will become part of each other. We will…
Before God, I swear this creed. My slide deck and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy, but peace!
Source
Similar threads
