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Murphy's Laws

Scott

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Since I am still new to this site I am not sure if anyone has shared these yet. Either way, here they are again to be read, laughed at and of course added to! Feel Free!!!

Friendly Fire - Isn't

Recoilless Rifles - Aren't

Suppressive Fires - Won't

Interchangeable parts - Aren't

You are not Superman; Marines and Fighter Pilots take special note.

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and may not want to waste a bullet on you.

If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

If your attack is going really well it is an ambush.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: When they are ready and When you are not.

Mines are an equal opportunity weapon.

Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The one item you need is in short supply.

It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" that you've got to think about.

Things which must be shipped together as a set aren't

Things that must work together can't be shipped to the field that way.

Tracers work both ways.

If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed towards you.

Five second fuses always burn for three seconds.

There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

Never draw fire, it will irritate everyone around you.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

If the enemy is within range, SO ARE YOU!

The only thing more accurate than incoming fire is friendly fire.

When the going gets tough, the tough go cyclic.

If you drop a soldier in the middle of the desert with a rock, a hammer and an anvil, tell him not to touch any of it and come back two hours later, the anvil will be broken because a soldier's just gotta f*** with sh**

Laws of War for Tanks:
The same gun tube that could probably lift a car will be thrown out of alignment if you use it to assist your climb aboard the tank.

Tanks draw fire. Lots of it. It does not behoove the infantryman to hide behind one.



Murphy's Laws can be found at www.murphys-laws.com Hope this gets a few laughs and some additions

Cheers!
 
additions.....enjoy


Murphys laws in combat operations
From Military Quotes.com
Author(s) unknown.


Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

If you find yourself in front of your platoon they know something you don't.

The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out.

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not your friend.

When the enemy is closing, the artillery will always be to long.

Smart bombs have bad days too.
 
and...

There is always a way.
The best way is never the easy way.
The easy way is always mined.

No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.
No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat.

Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

Never share a fighting position with anyone braver than yourself.

The enemy diversion you have been ignoring is the main attack.

A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.

Beer Math: 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.

Body count Math: 3 guerrillas plus 1 probable plus 2 pigs equals 37 enemies killed in action.

 
remember your equipment is made by  lowest tender

bullet proof vest is only  a guide line for when it is up to spect

you only  run low on ammo when you are over run by  ememy soldiers

last but not least

auditors are the ones who go in after the battle and bayonet the wounded







 
It was originally posted a year ago, before Radio Chatter and was a "newbie" oversight on my part.

Moved.
 
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