No peace from war: Mother fights for soldiers suffering PTSD

[simysmom99]

A comment from the inside. 
Both myself and my dh are in the "system".  Myself with OSSIS for spouses with injured (all with PTSD right now) husbands (we are all female to date).  I also did my OSSIS volunteer training this past January so I can be a peer support person for spouses with physical injuries. 
My dh is suffering with depression, and really, how can you get blown up and lose body parts and not get depressed about it.  As of now, he doesn't want to seek help.  I can't make him go if he doesn't want to.
In my dealings with the wives, I find that almost all of their husbands go through that period of denial.  We do have a shortage of professionals.  We have OSSIS, but I think the need is higher than perhaps the system can handle now.  But what if your soldier doesn't think anything is wrong?  That is also a large part of the problem.  It is almost always the people around the soldier that sees the problems way before the soldier does.  You can't make anyone get treatment until they want to.  And some will never seek help, never be able to see the light at then end of the tunnel and take their lives.  It's sad, but that is the fact.  Not only in the military, but in civilian life as well.

 

[geo]

There is no doubt that to a lot of soldiers, showing weakness' will appear to be an unwanted weakness.  They will deny it until such time as it's realisation is forced upon them.... To them admitting to PTSD is the kiss of death to their career VS the 1st step in dealing with the problem.

Up to WW1, we would be talking about "cowardice"
In WW2 & Korea we would be talking about "battle fatigue"
Since then, we're talking about PTSD...... BUT, to the individual soldier - showing a weakness is still ... cowardice.

 

[armyvern]

I suppose it would depend on whose POV you agree with ;D

It really doesn't matter -- as long as both people headed in from opposite directions end up at the proper destination.

Thanks for the PM.

 

[armyvern]

Is this in the right thread ?

What are you refering to ?

He's simply saying that he and I agree on what needs to happen ... we're just disagreeing on what is currently happening.

100% valid question. It took me a bit to figure it out too.

 

[ladybugmabj]

There is no doubt that to a lot of soldiers, showing weakness' will appear to be an unwanted weakness.  They will deny it until such time as it's realisation is forced upon them.... To them admitting to PTSD is the kiss of death to their career VS the 1st step in dealing with the problem.

Up to WW1, we would be talking about "cowardice"
In WW2 & Korea we would be talking about "battle fatigue"
Since then, we're talking about PTSD...... BUT, to the individual soldier - showing a weakness is still ... cowardice.

I want to slap a few up side the head when I hear "but at my rank...."  or "what will the guys think"... It doesn't matter rank.....PTSD doesn't choose the rank!  

 

[geo]

You could say that PTSD hits us between the eyes from our blind side.
When you talk Career and comrades in arms to a soldier all rational thought about himself goes right out the window.

They are all good people - that need to be slapped across the back of the head a couple of times... a bit like that "eat veggies" TV commercials going around these days... waiter clears table, picks up plate that still has it's veggies & swats the customer across the back of the head... quite apropos.

Talked to some vets from WW2 over the years.  Many used the Legion for their therapy.  Sitting alongside comrades who had gone thru more or less the same thing.  A few drinks with or without the verbal communications.....

 

[ladybugmabj]

""Talked to some vets from WW2 over the years.  Many used the Legion for their therapy.  Sitting alongside comrades who had gone thru more or less the same thing.  A few drinks with or without the verbal communications.....""


But what do we do when the person fully believes is okay, and doesn't talk to a soul about it???

 

[geo]

It's a toughie alright...
The silent treatment with the occasional application of a beverage. The company of someone who had gone thru +/- the same kind of thing could over time encourage him/them to open up to each other.

Realizing that there is a problem somewhere is the 1st step to healing.... it's just such a HUGE step though...

Unfortunately, I don't have a solution - short of "being there" should they need someone to listen to them... without jugement...

 

[Greymatters]

A few thoughts on this:

Nice to see so many posts on this subject in one day, the level of interest is very beneficial.

The 'suck it up' attitude has not gone to bed.  Although some say they dont see it, it was alive and well in several units as of 2005 when I retired.  If you are at a unit where the attitude is lying low, then good for you but dont presume it is gone forever.

The DND and VAC are improving, but at their own pace, not ours.  In 2005, they had a process going for passing on comments to the VAC about the process for injured soldiers.  Three years later and I never heard a word from them since, and based on what I keep reading, the same problems still exist.

Yes it is hard to find and hire the right people... but who are they hiring right now?  Marketing consultants?  Secretaries?  Janitors?  Architects for creating new faciltieis?  Project managers?  How about hiring back some soldiers who have been through the process and can actually offer some useful advice to the new crop of soldiers who just want someone to talk to that understands the situation?

The current leadership keeps talking about the increasing problem, but its not new.  Its been around since WW2, and its still not being done right.

How about some more offices that soldiers and retirees can actually get to?  Its nice to talk about support groups and talking to people, but its doesnt help when the nearest office is 1.5 hours away and gas is up to 1.20/liter...

A bit of a small rant, but cant help myself...

 

[Shiraz]

I may be out of line here, but my ex husband has PTSD and not military related.  He has been on an "emergency" list since november for a psychiatrist over this.  The Ontario health system is failing not just a certain group, but all Ontarians as a whole.  I worked as an addictions counsellor for 10 years, with a great success rate I might add, but according to the gov't I am not qualified to work with the DND.  There are so many hiccups in the system and so much tape to go through.  It will be more than a couple of years before our soldiers are taken care of appropriately.

 

[geo]

Shiraz... why would you be out of line?  Thoughtful comments from experienced people are always welcome.

I must point out to you that dealing with PTSD is nothing new but, all in all, has received very little attention - anywhere!

The Gov't medical services & veteran affairs of the US, UK, Canada, etc... are all scrambling to get a handle on this.  While I can complain about the mind numbing pace of their progress - I can appreceate the difficulties they are going thru.

We are all part of the problem.  Soldiers in the Combat Arms, intent to make a career in the Forces have a massive fear of showing weaknesses... If you read from the other 3 pages of this thread you'll find that most people who have PTSD usually don't want to talk about it (because others wouldn't understand OR would fuss about it too much) OR worse still - they don't see it in themselves - it does not exist.  THAT is one hell of a hurdle for the Health services to cross.

 

[Strike]

Shiraz,

You bring up a good point that perhaps we've forgotten.  The situation within the military on services available is not unique to us and we need to realize that.  It's not a problem with the military, but in the health care system as a whole.

 

[Greymatters]

Granted there's a shortage for the military on this issue, but there are other occupations that also face PTSD problems for their members.  Who are the police and fire departments using to handle this?

 

[Kiwi99]

The suck it up attitude IS still there, and I am guilty of being  part of it.  But if a group of people all go through the same, or similar, experiance;ie, a big fight where people die and you get your butts kicked, it is, IMHO only natural for some ti wonder why others are effected more by it.  Hey, we all got PTSD in some way or another from the war, thats a fact.  But just because a suck it up mentality exists doesn't mean it's a bad thing.  I have my own dreams and sweats as well, but I still can't understand why people right next to me are getting time off work or are totally incapable of working.  Guess thats human nature, aint it.

 

[Gunner98]

The suck it up attitude IS still there, and I am guilty of being  part of it.  But if a group of people all go through the same, or similar, experiance;ie, a big fight where people die and you get your butts kicked, it is, IMHO only natural for some ti wonder why others are effected more by it.  Hey, we all got PTSD in some way or another from the war, thats a fact.  But just because a suck it up mentality exists doesn't mean it's a bad thing.  I have my own dreams and sweats as well, but I still can't understand why people right next to me are getting time off work or are totally incapable of working.  Guess thats human nature, aint it.

I guess everyone should be the same height and weight, have the same eye colour, same hairline and colour and the same susceptibility to cancer, heart attack, diabetes, MS etc. in your world.  Let alone be blessed by having the same parents, childhood and support system as you.

One experience - shared by people - does not have the same outcome.  I try to see the positive traits/characteristics of people and don't doubt some try to use the system. After dealing with a "chemical imbalance" resulting in a battle with depression for more than 10 years, I have sucked it up during my 24 years in uniform but not without a little help from some patient friends, caring people and some expert advice.  We are not all the same and we don't see and experience life the same, that's what makes the journey so interesting. 

Your fellow soldiers may be getting time off because they need it - if they had a broken leg or heart attack would you still doubt why?  A short term investment in patience let's many people return to work stronger and more tenacious than ever.  Just my humble opinion.

 

[Kiwi99]

Sure, you can look at it in that type of compassionate way, and there is nothing wrong with that.  But save the sarcasm for somebody else, and don't be scared of opinion!  Do yourself a favour and open your eyes.  Nothing is rosey and peachy out there, so why pretend.  Remember, the mental health people never tell you that it's alright if you feel alright, do they.  Patience only goes so far, and you can't babysit people for ever.  It is alright to wonder why people act differently, and it is alright to say suck it up.  If someone is having a problem, why keep letting them think that they are a victim.  get them back on the horse and back into the fight.  We have to stop people from being allowed to feel like victims, as a victim mentality does nothing for them!

 

[the 48th regulator]

Sure, you can look at it in that type of compassionate way, and there is nothing wrong with that.  But save the sarcasm for somebody else, and don't be scared of opinion!  Do yourself a favour and open your eyes.  Nothing is rosey and peachy out there, so why pretend.  Remember, the mental health people never tell you that it's alright if you feel alright, do they.  Patience only goes so far, and you can't babysit people for ever.  It is alright to wonder why people act differently, and it is alright to say suck it up.  If someone is having a problem, why keep letting them think that they are a victim.  get them back on the horse and back into the fight.  We have to stop people from being allowed to feel like victims, as a victim mentality does nothing for them!

An opinion does not make it right.

That has got to be the largest plate of tripe I have seen!  Telling them to suck it up is alright, don't let them be a victim.

Kiwi, the sooner you treat a mentally wounded soldier, the sooner he can get back in the saddle so he can suck it up.

Like any other wound the longer left untreated,t he more delibitating it is to the soldier.

Because it is your opinion does not exonerate it being labeled as wrong!  It's attitudes like that, that actually erode away at an effective force.

dileas

tess

 

[1feral1]

I live about an hour's drive from the Unit, and alone (although recently starting to see a girl), so when my issues flare up, I am usually alone. I used to at times crawl inot a bottle of JD, mix some headache tablets, but seen the path I was taking, and under my own discipline, broke that, although I still do enjoy some CC or the odd beer. I was never diagnosed with PTSD, but I also know I have not been entirely honest with the Psychs, or myself. I think we all have some type of issues upon return. My biggest problem still is sleep, not falling asleep, but staying asleep. Its not as bad as it once was. Normally I am up from 0200-0330, and I tend to sleep light, and often feel unrested, and exhausted at times. Night sweats and dreams are not as common, but still occurr, along with some anxiety issues too.

ANZAC Day is a week from today, and I think I am ready this year, so I will either march with the Regiment or with the Viet Vets of Bribie Island, as thats home, adn I should make an appearance locally. However, nothing beats a Light Horse ANZAC March, emu plumes, slouch hats, gongs clinking, with the whole bloody brigade (+3000) trying to stay in step.

 

[Gunner98]

If someone is having a problem, why keep letting them think that they are a victim.  get them back on the horse and back into the fight.  We have to stop people from being allowed to feel like victims, as a victim mentality does nothing for them!

I agree, just because you have a problem does not make you a victim and similarly a victim mentality is not helpful.  A kind, caring ear will go a lot further than an empty straw and an order to suck.  Have you tried discussing the common experience with them to understand their recollections or do you just point, stare and shake your head.  Or worse yet, point, stare and suggest that others join you in staring at that which cannot comprehend.

 

[Kiwi99]

Whatever 48th, different views again. Ya know whats strange, all the experts and health officials that say they can diagnose PTSD just from talking to a person.  How can soldiers come back from firefights in Astan  with no issues, but an air force guy working in Trenton has PTSD from watching the caskets coming off the plane.  Tell me I am wrong all you want, 48th and others, but I am still a firm believer that the PTSD title is thrown around far too commonly and quickly, and is all too easy to fake.