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Raising Girls That Pimps and Thugs will Hate

zipperhead_cop

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A friend of mine sent me this article, and I think it is bang on.  So often I see what happens to ill raised girls and how they conduct themselves. 

Raising Girls That Pimps and Thugs will Hate

Written by Doug Giles

I was channel surfing the other day when I landed on an idiotic Reggaeton music video. It was your emblematic Stooge-a-Palooza reel.

The scene was typical: the "musicians" and their homies were wearing T-shirts that would be too large for Sasquatch, they sported baseball caps pull downed over their ears like some Fat Albert character. In addition, they all had the prerequisite teeth "grill" needed now to be in The Cult of the Absurd.

Along with the above, these hoodlums donned the Dennis Rodman multi-necklace starter kit, cubic zirconium earrings and, of course, tennis bracelets. Y'know, nothing screams, "I'm a bad ass" more than stud earrings and costume jewelry.

With all their bracelets and necklaces in place, the creative geniuses launched into waving their 96-oz. beer bottles in the air like they just don't care as they rapped/"sang"/spoke their song (?) so fast they made an espresso'd-up Joe Pesci sound like a groggy Slingblade.

The thing that floored me was not the musical gruel these dasypygals peddled, but all the gorgeous girls that were a part of the helix-missing miscreants' music video.

Yeah, dozens of beautiful teens and twenty-something girls were wearing Victoria Secret boy shorts and tiny tube tops as they writhed on the ground and upon the hoods of cars as these "artists" poured beer on them, slapped their butts and simulated sex acts with somebody's daughter. Which left me thinking, "Where the heck are these girls' parents?" In particular, where are their dads?

Father, if your daughter is doing extra work on soft porn music videos, or posting sex pics on mySpace.com, or bearing it all for a Girls Gone Wild DVD, or inflating their chests to ocean buoy size proportions to appeal to the most appalling, pusillanimous pigs on the planet, then you have clearly not done your job as a father.

Hey sperm donor—if you bring a little girl into this world, then it is your job to make certain she's grounded. That's right, Pappy . . . you are the principal player in keeping your young woman from being the next Anna Nicole Smith.

I've got two daughters. One is about to go to college, and the other just turned 15. When these little female charges popped out of their mommy's belly several years ago, I felt this thing called "responsibility" hit me like a nun chuck regarding their upbringing.

I didn't sluff off my role in their lives onto my wife, my church, government schools, day care, a nanny, other relatives, TV, Sesame Street, or "the village" to fill my boots. I, along with my lovely wife, got them here, and dammit, it's our job—especially my job as Alpha male of the Giles castle—to set them up internally and externally for greatness.

Living in Miami I knew that I would have to pony up and be a major player in their lives if they were going to escape being part of the local teen fart cloud; I would have to instill principles in them in order to keep them from teenage wasteland. In other words, I'm going to have to be a dad in the traditional sense of the word. Isn't that weird?

Having been pretty successful, heretofore, with the upbringing of my righteous and rowdy girls, here and now I will unveil my secret recipe for raising my zesty señoritas.

1. Teach Them How to Fight.

2. Teach Them How to Shoot Guns.

3. Teach Them How Sense BS.

4. Teach Them How to Rebel.

5. Teach Them How to Be Classy (That's mostly my wife's job.)

6. Teach Them to Despise Anti-Intellectualism.

7. Teach Them to Be Visionaries.

8. Teach Them How to Party.

9. Teach Them the Value of Hard Work.

10. Teach Them the Importance of Traditional Convictions.

Here's numero uno on my to-do list for raising girls that pimps and thugs will hate:


1. Teach Them How to Fight.
With etiquette having flown out the window a solid 20 years ago and our neighborhoods now seeing perverts and pedophiles a plenty, young and old men are now extremely embolden to be groping, brutish and offensive horn dogs.

Since I would never ever want my darlings to be at the mercy of one these palm pilots, I have made certain that my girls know how to severely disable a bad guy and, if need be, kill him. Not even out of their teens, both my daughters are Gracie Jui Jitsu assistant instructors and have extensive training with knives and guns, both in using and removing them from idiots who might have to die in order to learn something. That's what I call, "Girl Power."

2. Teach Them How to Shoot Guns.
With demoniacs now boldly going into Amish Schools and shooting innocent little girls, and with insane, should-be-dead-and-roasting-in-hell perverts and pedophiles prowling our parks and picking on our chicks, I'm a zealous advocate for women getting packed, stacked and ready to whack.

Fathers, I wouldn't have your girl learn how to just barely use a weapon; I would be aiming for her to be able to emulate Angelina Jolie's character in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Yeah, I would teach her to be proficient in all forms of death dealing with all types of guns.

My advice to you fathers when it comes to guns is: start them off early (10 years old) and slow. With a proper introduction, I've never met a girl who (once she got past an initial squeamishness) didn't absolutely positively love shooting guns.

A mild .38 Special revolver, or a .380 automatic pistol plus a .22 rifle and a nice 20-gauge shotgun that fits her well (very important), is a good way to get the party started. A year of you and her regularly hammering targets down range should set her up to be a girl no one wants to get PO'ed.

Finally, make sure she gets a "concealed weapons" permit as soon as she can. Remember Dad, the toe tag belongs on the assailant, not your young lady.

3. Teach Them How to Sense BS.
Princeton Philosophy professor Harry Frankfurt states, "One of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullsh*t." Call it non-sense, truth bending, reality styling, Mark Foley-itus, mendacity, Air America or whatever, you do not need to be the coldest beer in the fridge to recognize that lies, hype and spin are now seeing more action than Bill Clinton would at the Hooters in Little Rock. Now granted, most gobbledygook is harmless. However, some BS is disastrous. Case in point: the amorous, nauseous oozings that a Joran Van der Sloot excreted, and that were, unfortunately, bought by Natalie Holloway. Not discerning this Dutch dillweed's depravity cost Natalie her life.

Speaking of Natalie and bad dates: Girls, if 'red flags' start going off in your head, your skin begins to crawl up your arm and your gut revolts against your eyes and ears—then you might want to pay attention to what your body and your intuition are telling you.

Yes, your sixth sense is trying to tell you there is something awry with Mr. Nice Guy. Don't blow off this in-house salvo; rather, get well acquainted with your internal ticker. It'll help you see through the veil of crap most bad guys live behind.

4. Teach Them How to Rebel.
Dad, having a girl with a well whetted BS detector is not enough. Sometimes, when the twaddle is egregious, you've got to teach your little darling to revolt against the purveyors of it. I think the greatest need for rebels with a cause is within the homes of families who have traditional American values. Most families of faith are simply way too nice.

Nice dad, if you're going to send your daughter to a state run university, then you've got to teach your lass to not just sit there in class being a good girl and taking whatever the secular "progressives" shove down her throat. You must teach to her to deftly defy defunct dogmas and not turn a blonde eye to bad ideas.

Yeah, traditional father, teach your girl to feel proud and comfortable with not being a communist, with believing in God, with our nation's spiritual heritage and with not having her genitals turned into a campus Jiffy Lube.

5. Teach Them How to Be Classy (That's mostly my wife's job.)
Look, I'm all for girls being Tom-boy rough around the edges. I like an earthy woman. My youngest daughter can burp so loud that it shakes a whole restaurant. It is quite amazing. That said, dad, keep your girls from being as gross as men are allowed to be. Men are supposed to be semi-vile beasts. Not you ladies.

Girls have now been liberated to be just as vulgar as men are. Girls, don't try to be as base as us. We suck. It's the feminine difference that keeps us in line. Your grace and mystery keep us in balance. Therefore, be prettier, daintier and more honorable—and we'll conquer the planet for you. By being elegant and tasteful, you give us a reason to clip our braidable nose hairs, to learn which fork to use at dinner and to stop scratching our polyps when we're in public. Let your girl know, however, that not being a gross, rowdy and disgusting slut might cause her to not get invited to every keg party. But she shouldn't sweat it, because her tastefulness will cause her to excel in life and land her a worthy man.

6. Teach Them to Despise Anti-Intellectualism.
The Beatles are credited with mainstreaming drugs more quickly than anyone else within the West. I credit Paris Hilton and the rest of her lockstep, anti-intellectual, ogling ilk for making it cool to be a credulous clod. Young girl, listen: Paris can afford to own dumb. Paris is filthy rich and has a lot of lawyers retained. If you follow her moronic lead and stay daft, well . . . all I can say is, "I hope you like eating government cheese and living in a van down by the river."

Dad, provide your girl with a killer library covering a variety of topics. Start with the easy to read version of the Bible. Then get her everything R.C. Sproul's written on Theology. After that, line the shelves with biographies of productive world shakers. Then get a good tome that overviews the major philosophers/philosophies. In addition, stack her shelves with world history books and the history of the West. Last but not least, stock the Classics. If you provide these pithy works and encourage your girl to imbibe deeply on them, I guarantee you won't have to worry about your daughter drinking bong water with Tara Reid while clubbing on South Beach.

7. Teach Them to Be Visionaries.
Teach your daughter to dream big and not to settle for personal, national, cultural or ecclesiastical mediocrity. Teach her, by faith, to see what is unseen and to work her disciplined butt off to achieve what she desires versus that which culture or others have prescribed for her.

8. Teach Them How to Party.
Teach your girls that if they go out partying, to be aware that lame guys with hackneyed existences have found ways around having to get a life before they try to get your girl. It is called, as you all know, date rape drugs. With the advent of roofies and ecstasy, losers are able to work around a girl's brain and body (if they can lace your drink) by getting you so smashed that you throw off any inhibitions (or go unconscious) so they can try their ham-fisted moves on you. So, to avoid being French kissed, raped, impregnated, kidnapped or murdered by these slugs:

1. Don't take a drink from a stranger. Receive your drink only, only, from the bartender; watch him make it, and then have him hand it directly to you.

2. Don't leave your drink lying around where Goofy can drop a roofie in it.

3. Don't party with brain-dead buddies. Hang out with friends who keep their wits about them when they're having a good time, who will not let you leave with three local peons or get ridiculously wasted, who have well-honed BS detectors and who will not let you get behind the wheel of your 330I if you've had seven shots of Cabo Wabo.

9. Teach Them the Value of Hard Work.
Tell your daughter and show her by example that the harder she works, the luckier she'll get. Make sure she doesn't have an entitlement mentality towards you, a sugar daddy, church or our government.

10. Teach Them the Importance of Traditional Convictions.
You do not have to be a tongue talkin', "on fire," Pentecostal father to teach your little girl the importance of faith in God, how to pray and the value of biblical values. This often ridiculed biblical infrastructure just happens to be a major part of why the west is the best. And dad, don't pass spiritual training off to your wife. She's only part of your girl's spiritual picture.

Pretty straight forward stuff.  Gonna find out how it works for myself. 
       

 
I like your title :).

Maybe more comments after I finish to read that... short article  :D !

Add: Liked it, fine article in this March 8 day ;)
        So, how old is your girl ?
 
+1

Well that's pretty much how my dad influenced my life Zipperhead...and I am so glad he did...it helped me take the world by storm...especially when I was a teenager.
I was lucky to have one of the best dads a girl could have.

HL
 
I think there's one major thing missing there- Teach them self-respect.  all that other stuff is fine, but without self-respect what good will it do?  The reason some girls get involved with crap is because they are the ones seriously lacking in that department.
 
This is not intended to be confrontational... but,
could someone tell me how us "secular progressives" might be better to raise our children?
 
He forgets to mention discipline. Another biggie, that a heck of a lot of parents don't use these days when their daughters (and sons for that matter) forget those rules. A little bit of honest-to-goodness discipline can go a long way too.
 
Lucky I had a boy,this time.
However my friend had a little girl a while back and we stumbled onto the whole cute daughter on a army base conversation.

His response:

"I'm going to convince her from a very early age that NO ONE is good enough.And slowly turn her into the girls that made me settle for her uglier friend."

Good plan I thought.
 
I was spanked as a kid and I turned out ok.... I think? :eek:
 
"Settle for the uglier friend??"

That bothers me. That's actually the whole building block for the article below. Girls need to get some self-respect, and refuse to feel like they have to have someone "settle" for them, and get over feeling that they have to perform visually in order to suceed regardless of whether they are considered hot...or not by the male masses.

I guess the real question is...who is more beautiful? The gorgeous trollop grinding away with some asshat on the stage who only respects her facial (and bodily measurement) characteristics OR the girl who's got respect for herself and is truely comfortable in her own skin? Sadly, from my personal observations of 11 & 12 year old girls hanging around my house these days, being comfortable in their own skin seems to be a slipping art-form these days.



 
I am teaching my daughter to be loving, kind to small animals and to be able to KICK ASS!!!!!!!!

and shoot a gun!!  ;D
 
The Librarian said:
being comfortable in their own skin seems to be a slipping art-form these days.

That one issue probably accounts for 80% of the dumb actions taken by both girls and boys these days (probably wasn't any different in other generations, just different focus).  Maturity is exactly that....being comfortable in who and what you are.
 
You could apply most of those to your boys as well. Also, for boys, teach them to treat women as they would treat their mother. (And if they know what's good for them it had better be like mom is the queen!)
 
2 Cdo said:
You could apply most of those to your boys as well. Also, for boys, teach them to treat women as they would treat their mother. (And if they know what's good for them it had better be like mom is the queen!)

ABSOLUTELY.
 
Roy, Gap, 2 Cdo,

Any of you gentlemen have a circa 12 year old son (or grandson raised the same way) you're willing to enter into an arranged marriage with my daughter??  ;D

It's either that or she'll be a spinster as dad has her grounded until she's 30.  :mad:

 
The Librarian said:
Roy, Gap, 2 Cdo,

Any of you gentlemen have a circa 12 year old son (or grandson raised the same way) you're willing to enter into an arranged marriage with my daughter??  ;D

It's either that or she'll be a spinster as dad has her grounded until she's 30.  :mad:

Actually - my boys are (let me think), 25, 23, and 21.  None of them are married - maybe by the time your daughter is 30, one of them will be ready!!
 
I say you cannot be to hard on your daughters... as they may hate you for it and just rebel against you. You cannot lock them out of the world... because lets face it, it just makes things worse. I say scare the living $hit of all the boyfriends she may have. Let her date, just make sure you are cleaning you're gun or sharpening your knife while having a NICE conversation with the guy (or do the Bad Boys 2 thing).   ;D :cdn:
 
I think maturity is the biggest factor. Teach them from a young age that they are responsible for their actions and that they will suffer consequences. I'm not a parent, but I did spend high school helping to raise 3 younger siblings so Mom could work a lot. Mom taught me that I am special and important, and I should never let anyone make me feel any different. Girls these days REALLY need to have more respect for themselves and stop spending so much time worrying about how they look. I was taught that my intelligence and maturity are my best characteristics, and I feel that more girls should look at themselves that way. Sure I still like to take care of myself esthetically, but my brain and values have gotten me through the adversity I have faced in life, not whether I am attractive or not.
 
And in all fairness to the boys, I realize that they go through the same thing.

I have a 13 year old son (14 this month...) who's been going out with Emily for a year now. He still can't believe that she would go out with him. I tell him that we taught him well, and her parents taught her well.

But it seems to be more pronounced and admitted amongst the girls. During sleep-overs I overhear comments like, "I'm so glad the boys aren't here so we don't have to brush our hair and wear our skinny jeans." I always make sure I step in and add my 2 cents worth to the girls.
 
My six year old daughter told me last week - that she no longer wants two peice bathing suits. She says if they don't fit just right, then they make her belly stick out a little and she doesn't like how it looks.

She is SIX! Wha... BELLY?!?! How it LOOKS!

When I was six - I remember thinking .. man these courderoy pants are warm! Not.. geeze they make a swisshing sound when I walk - better work on those thighs.

I had to stop myself from breaking the TV and deciding to homeschool right there ... when it hit me - that was something I HAD SAID before - and she had overheard me.

So remember - you can preach at your kids and teach them all the right things... but if you don't believe it and live it yourself - neither will they.

... Now to go get MY attitude adjusted....
 
The Librarian said:
Roy, Gap, 2 Cdo,

Any of you gentlemen have a circa 12 year old son (or grandson raised the same way) you're willing to enter into an arranged marriage with my daughter??  ;D

It's either that or she'll be a spinster as dad has her grounded until she's 30.  :mad:
Also forgot to add, self motivation.  Without which none of the |rules| are worth a darn.  Self dicipline, self respect, and self motivation will get any "good girl" or boy to a rightful and mature age.  Sometimes the problem with todays kids, and I'm not condoning corporal punishment that we got as kids, is that they've never felt the back of dad's hand when they backtalk thier mother.  My boys know that they can tell me to go pound it, but the minute they disrespect MOM they're done for.  So far my boys have good heads on their shoulders.  Can it be said that girls (and boys) will allow themselves to be treated the way they saw thier moms treated?  If dad was an arse and mom let him, then they will learn what they see.
Librarian, my youngest is 14, knows the value of work, is self motivated to get himself out the door for school, treats his mom like a queen, does chores around the house, can cook!  Interested?   ;D   My boys will be like me, they will make good "wives" someday.  :D
 
 
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