Raising Girls That Pimps and Thugs will Hate

[Colin Parkinson]

When you have a boy, you only have one prick to worry about, but when you have a girl, you got every prick in the world to worry about!!!

 

[Bobby Rico]

Note to self- never have children.  Oi.

 

[gaspasser]

When you have a boy, you only have one prick to worry about, but when you have a girl, you got every prick in the world to worry about!!!

..lucky me I have only two to worry about...but then again, having a girl would be a good reason to go buy a gun??!! ;D
  "So, son!, you going on a date with my daughter and you'll be back when?"    {wipe-wipe, pull thru-check barrel for cleanliness}
  "Uumm, sir! (with scratchy-breaking-boys voice)  whenever you say is a good time to be back, SIR!"

;D

 

[rz350]

Thanks for the "tips"  but the real the west is the best is because I am not forced to have to teach or abide by, any non secular law. (see tip number 10 )

So thanks for your "great' advice, but should I have a child, I will not force any religion upon them...I will leave that for places like Iran.

and I think self respect and self discipline, is much more important then anything else. Discipline is okay, but self discipline is better. What happens when daddy/mommy/big sis/the police/the RSM is not around t enforce discipline? You must have your own internal discipline, and its them times when you are most vulnerable.

 

[Colin Parkinson]

Somebody asked if I would let my daughter get a tattoo, I said yes:

On her tummy: "No Trespassing!"

On her back: "My daddy owns a gun"

;D ;D ;D

 

[manhole]

Note to muskrat89:  I hope you are reading and heeding! 

 

[Roy Harding]

...and I think self respect and self discipline, is much more important then anything else. Discipline is okay, but self discipline is better. What happens when daddy/mommy/big sis/the police/the RSM is not around t enforce discipline? You must have your own internal discipline, and its them times when you are most vulnerable.

Self discipline can only be learned by having outside discipline imposed.  Once the logic of discipline kicks in - self-discipline happens, not until then.

This is why young recruits are subject to MUCH more discipline than, say, old Warrant Officers.  The old Warrants have self-discipline, they don't NEED to have it imposed anymore.

You need to discipline your children (and don't mistake the term "discipline" as a synonym for "corporal punishment" - that may be accurate in SOME cases, but not ALL) - once they've grasped the essentials of that discipline (read acceptable code of conduct, realization of their RESPONSIBILITIES, as well as their RIGHTS), self-discipline is possible and should be nurtured.

I've been there rz350, and I've given the nation three citizens that ROCK.  Your profile suggest that you HAVEN'T - in fact it suggests that you MAY still be in the process of gaining that self-discipline.

Good luck to you,

Roy

 

[Colin Parkinson]

discipline without care/love is worthless, the two must go together to be effective.

 

[Roy Harding]

discipline without care/love is worthless, the two must go together to be effective.

Absolutely agree.

Care/love NECESSITATES discipline.  "Discipline" without love equals punishment.  (A whole OTHER subject).

 

[riggermade]

I think maturity is the biggest factor. Teach them from a young age that they are responsible for their actions and that they will suffer consequences. I'm not a parent, but I did spend high school helping to raise 3 younger siblings so Mom could work a lot. Mom taught me that I am special and important, and I should never let anyone make me feel any different. Girls these days REALLY need to have more respect for themselves and stop spending so much time worrying about how they look. I was taught that my intelligence and maturity are my best characteristics, and I feel that more girls should look at themselves that way. Sure I still like to take care of myself esthetically, but my brain and values have gotten me through the adversity I have faced in life, not whether I am attractive or not.

Pea

I have to agree with you...my daughter is seven and is already dealing with the how you look deal...self respect is one of the biggest things you can teach your kids and that they can be individuals...dealing with others is a whole other problem and when my daughter tells me so and so said something all I have to do is look at the parents and see where it is coming from....my wife and I are always complimented on how respectful our kids are and how caring they are

 

[zipperhead_cop]

I think the self respect/self discipline concepts would kind of end up instilled if one were to follow the steps the author was referring to. 
I don't think the literal steps are the point.  The idea is that a father's influence on a young lady is one of the greatest barometers as to how she relates to men in the future.  I think a well balanced regimen of kissing and kicking their asses will work out (don't take that as too literal, either). 

 

[Roy Harding]

I think the self respect/self discipline concepts would kind of end up instilled if one were to follow the steps the author was referring to. 
I don't think the literal steps are the point.  The idea is that a father's influence on a young lady is one of the greatest barometers at to how she relates to men in the future.  I think a well balanced regimen of kissing and kicking their asses will work out (don't take that as too literal, either). 

I think you've captured the essentials there, zipperhead_cop. 

Although I don't have any daughters (looking forward to Grand-daughters one day, though), and I'm therefore not an SME - I think raising PEOPLE is a similar experience - no matter which gender we may be speaking of.

From discipline grows self-discipline, from respect grows self-respect - you need to love and care for them - and that love and care entails thoughts for how they're going to handle the world without you (as they inevitably will) - you need to equip them to handle that world out there - it needn't be a scary place.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this:  the children I've enjoyed over the years (including my own - and my current neighbours - amongst others) have been children who were respectful, and disciplined.  I've watched many of these children (including my own, amongst others - and I look forward to watching my neighbours) grow to adulthood.  I've watched them do STUPID things - that's a function of adolescence, and I've watched them pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and carry on to great lives.

The ONE thing these great kids had in common was caring/loving/DISCIPLINING parents.  Some of them never had corporal punishment (my own included - although they knew I would in a New York minute), some did - but ALL of the parents I'm thinking of demanded the best from their children - and they got it.  The children eventually came to demand the best of themselves - and they're getting it.

Some of these children ended up in law enforcement, some in the military, and some (including my own) in various civilian occupations.  The one thing they all have in common is that they are leaders in their chosen fields - they have self-discipline, and expect the same of their peers.  And it all leads back to discipline (with love).

The original posting on this thread is certainly a wonderful tool for making us think.  I don't personally agree with all the details - but I DO agree with the general thrust of the article.

Take care of yourselves (more importantly - take care of your children),


Roy

 

[Hawk]

I've just finished reading through all the posts. Wow!

I raised a son - he'll be 28 this summer, and I'm so proud of him! The 2 main influences in his young life were me, and his step-dad. To understand Dad's influence, you have to know that he came into ourlives when The Kid was 2. Dad's the only father he's ever known. I could teach him to be a class act in a lot of ways-dress properly, have good manners, respect his elders, etc. His dad taught him to be a man.

Dad taught him to respect me-only once the hard way! He taught him to fish, hunt, drive a car, dig a garden, level a step-all the guy things.

We both worked at his self-worth and self respect.

Once, when he was a (rotten!) teenager he asked me why I was so hard on him. I think I'd grounded him for a goodly long time. I told him I  was being hard on him because I not only loved him - I liked him, and I want the rest of the world to like him. And I told him I'd continue to be hard on him till he learned to be hard on himself.

Now he's a man, and he's all I could wish him to be, and more! He treats his lady with respect, and she returns the attitude to him. He has a job that's hard work, and he loves it. He admires his lady's musical ability - and is learning from her, and she admires his artistic talent, encourages it-along with his dreams and plans.

Over his grown-up years so far, he's had lunch with a member of our legislature, been to meetings in a boardroom, travelled half way across Canada chasing a dream, and its about to come true. He can get into any situation, and be comfortable. We appear to have done a great job!

The only thing he hasn't done that would please us is marry and make us grandparents - hopefully one day!!!


Hawk

 

[scoutfinch]

Maybe we need a thread that advises young men how not to emulate these clowns and treat women with respect too?

I say this not because it is International Women's Day but because I have three boys of my own... and they know that if they even THOUGHT of treating women as is seen in current pop culture, they would have one angry Momma Bear -- my 18 year old's nickname for me -- to contend with.  Moreover, they would also have to face the disappointment of their father and stepfather, both of whom set fine examples for them to develop into responsible young men.

 

[rz350]

I did not need to be taught to treat women with respect, I was taught to treat people with respect, and last I checked, women are people. IMHO, they are the same as men, and should be treated the same.

 

[scoutfinch]

Well, good for you.  But that isn't a universal truth.

** edited to remove the inadvertantly placed capitals and to finish the post. 

 

[krustyrl]

Well,  I also think there is an "image" that is popular with the young'uns that they feel they must "subscribe" to in order to fit in or be accepted.  The gangsta look is what seems to be the way they like to look.  You know the deal with the uberpants and the fake "bling" and don't forget the whole ball cap thing.  Me thinks that if these posers were in a REAL gang society...., I think they would probably wish they hadn't and the lifestyle isn't always what they portray in those videos.!  OP was a very good read .

 

[scoutfinch]

I am not sure that every young man wants to look like a gangsta or young woman a 'ho for the sake of fitting in.  I can attest to the fact that my boys didn't, nor did their friends of either sex.

 

[krustyrl]

Let me make it clear that I didn't mean all the kids.  But it is a fashion statement held by lots.

 

[Hawk]

I want to tell the gangsa twits "pull up your pants and turn your hat around-you look like an idiot!"

And i want to tell the girls with their bra straps hanging out what my mother told me if my strap was ACCIDENTLY showing "your bra isn't that clean missy"

When did it become alright to have your underwear showing or wear a slip as a dress/top???


Hawk