The Rules for membership in the Man Club

[Mike Baker]

Oh my God, back away children, back away from Des so he does not try something new Just kidding Des, at least I hope

 

[Kat Stevens]

I threw off the shackles of the Gynocracy five years ago, and guess what?  I can still function in this world!!  I feed myself, dress myself (sometimes in WASHED clothes!), even get my bills paid on time.  I no longer have to navigate a maze of dried flower arrangements, decorative candles, and porcelain nicknack's in order to find the remote.  I have not had to do an emergency 11:00 PM tampon run to Mac's in recent memory.  I no longer have to plan my fishing trips for the "four days prior to Armageddon".  When I was young, I knew this about women:  "Soft, smell nice."  After 20 years of gynopression, I know this:








...."Soft, smell nice."

 

[Journeyman]

I threw off the shackles of the Gynocracy five years ago, and guess what?  I can still function in this world!!  I feed myself, dress myself (sometimes in WASHED clothes!), even get my bills paid on time.  I no longer have to navigate a maze of dried flower arrangements, decorative candles, and porcelain nicknack's in order to find the remote.  I have not had to do an emergency 11:00 PM tampon run to Mac's in recent memory.  I no longer have to plan my fishing trips for the "four days prior to Armageddon".  When I was young, I knew this about women:  "Soft, smell nice."  After 20 years of gynopression, I know this:

...."Soft, smell nice."

:rofl:  I think someone has some issues to work through..... 

 

[Kat Stevens]

Naaah, I love women..... but I couldn't eat a whole one in one sitting.


edited for a typo

 

[gaspasser]

Is that up there with..." I miss my wife...but my aim is improving"

???                                  ???

 

[zipperhead_cop]

Is that up there with..." I miss my wife...but my aim is improving"

Or the bumper sticker that I saw once:

"I like my women like my coffee....ground up and in the freezer" 

 

[Kat Stevens]

Coffee... Hot, sweet.........................









...............and in the kitchen

 

[NL_engineer]

You aren't supposed to get it.  I don't even get it, my wife dictated it to me.  The chicks will get it.  :dontpanic:

I got it after I had it translated  ;D

 

[medicineman]

Here are some men I feel should be inducted into the real man club.  MM

 

[zipperhead_cop]

Okay, in the spirit of fairness, here's a nod for our "lovelies":

http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~thoffman/videos/mansong.swf

 

[protected]

Zipperhead... You are the MAN!! 

 

[bojangles]

Its been a while since I posted anything and this thread brought a few chuckles. I just had to add a little joke my niece told me...

Q.Why are men smarter when they are having sex?

A. Because they are plugged into a women.

heheeeheee...  ;D

Okay I am done now! That was my contibution.

 

[zipperhead_cop]

See, now you are demonstrating that you may be smart.  You do realize what happens if a woman learns too much, don't you? 
Here is a helpful educational video that can save you before it is too late:

TAKE HEED!​

 

[2 Cdo]

Zipper that video gets funnier every time I watch it! ;D

 

[baudspeed]

oh my sides hurt...ahahahah ;D

 

[gaspasser]

Man, ZC, that was hi-larious...sides still hurtin' from lauging.  Mind you, keep that away from your niner...but you'd better...

Quick!!!  heehee

 

[niner domestic]

Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker- night 10.3 and Beer-bash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does not work on this program.

Can you help me?


*****************************************************************


Dear Sir-

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur.

The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lockup occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.



Remember, a happy wife is a happy life....LOL

 

[NL_engineer]

LMAO

So I guess that means don't upgrade ;D

 

[baudspeed]

+1

 

[career_radio-checker]

Heed the warning, DO NOT INSTALL WIFE 2.0!!!!

This is what can happen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bPMwAHdJCg