What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?

[MedTechStudent]

Also, I really feel for the flight attendants.  I mean in a usual store/ work setting, if the customer is displeased, they will moan about it for a while then just leave.  On a plane, your stuck with each other, can't even imagine.

 

[rmc_wannabe]

Working helpdesk you hear some dumbass stuff. Case in point (no names no packdrill)

Officer: Hello, I'm ____ I'm currently outside of Canada and I have lost my (insert IS Equipment). I need to get a new one sent here. When will that be able to happen?
Me: Um......pardon? You lost a piece of equipment, in a foreign country, and want me to send you a new one by courier? One second
(hands phone to MCpl after giving him the 411)
MCpl: Sir, you're pretty much SOL until you get back to Canada, then you need to have couple words with the ISSO about this  

 

[2 Cdo]

Well if it makes you feel better I can guarantee you my "customers" are always wrong and the staff is always right.... ;D

Bruce, you might possibly have the only job on the planet where the staff is always right. ;D

 

[043]

Staff Member A to Staff Member B - "I Love it Here"

Enough said!

 

[Bzzliteyr]

Actually Bruce, there are the rare occasions that DNA evidence, etc proves that your customers aren't actually supposed to be shopping there..and they were right.. hehe

 

[emmiee]

Just to continue off this thread a bit more. My father owned a small business when I was very young. It was more of a "hobby business", as his fultime work was as a mason. When old enough, (15 years old), I would work the summer and weekends earn spending money.

Usually the customers were nice, however, occasionally there were those customers that there was nothing I could say or do to please. On those occasions I would tell the customers I will call the manager/owner and whatever his decision is, I will do.

I would dial the phone, explain the difficulty and hand the phone to the customer saying " my dad wants to talk to you". After a few minutes they handed the phone back and left.

(btw some of them just left before I was able to give them the phone)

Emmiee

 

[ENGINEERS WIFE]

Even though it wasn't yesterday, on Monday we had a sidewalk sale, so all the, clothes were outside, obviously, and I was out there making sure nobody walked away with anything.  So as this lady is going through the racks, she finds a shirt she likes. 
Her: "Can I try this on inside?"
Me: "Nope, one of the rules of the sidewalk sale, YOU must try on all clothing ON the sidewalk"  ;D
Her: "That was a dumb question!"
Me: "Yup"
On her way out she just looked at me and laughed.

Another stupid question:
Answering phone a couple weeks ago.
Me:  "Good afternoon......yada yada"
Guy: "Do you know where you are?"
Me: "Yes, actually I DO know where I am.  I think the question is: Do YOU know where I am?"
He laughs.
I give him address of store.

 

[Hawk]

Have you ever thought to say NO when someone asks you if you can spell your name?

"My name is L---------- H---------"

"Can you spell that for me?"


Hawk

 

[Fishbone Jones]

That's like going to the cash register.

That'll be $2.35 sir.

Me: Here you go.

Them: Name and postal code please?

Me: No

Them: Pardon?

Me: No, I don't give that out.

Them: I have to put something in here. It doesn't really go anywhere, just used for marketing.

Me: Use your own information then.

Them: Why would I do that?

Me: Cause it's only used for marketing, doesn't really go anywhere and you have to put something in there, so use your own info.

 

[The Bread Guy]

That's like going to the cash register.

That'll be $2.35 sir.

Me: Here you go.

Them: Name and postal code please?

Me: No

Them: Pardon?

Me: No, I don't give that out.

Them: I have to put something in here. It doesn't really go anywhere, just used for marketing.

Me: Use your own information then.

Them: Why would I do that?

Me: Cause it's only used for marketing, doesn't really go anywhere and you have to put something in there, so use your own info.

My new boilerplate answer - thanks!

 

[Zell_Dietrich]

H0H 0H0

Hotel Zero Hotel Zero Hotel Zero

Santa likes to get mail from naughty companies too.  :warstory:

 

[ghyslyn]

From a fake news show:

Oral-B has recalled products from their popular new "Razor" brand after several horrific injuries.

New studies show that depression hits "losers" the hardest.

NHL star Alexander Ovechkin called up to big leagues to play for NFL team.

Diet book author advocated new "no food" diet.

 

[tankie]

RSM: Sgt P why did you ride in? your too drunk, you should've driven in instead!

This was the Sunday morning clean up after the RSM's dining in!

 

[danchapps]

This was how the morning started:

Me: Alright, I know we had the course party last night, I warned you guys not to drink too much. We have a PC today so you need to be focused.
Classmate: It's because you warned us not to drink that I drank more.

Later in the morning....

Me: So, is everyone ready for the PC?
Same classmate as before: We have a PC today?
Me: Umm, yes, it's all we talked about yesterday.
Classmate: Oh, sh!t

 

[Cloud Cover]

That's like going to the cash register.

That'll be $2.35 sir.

Me: Here you go.

Them: Name and postal code please?

Me: No

Them: Pardon?

Me: No, I don't give that out.

Them: I have to put something in here. It doesn't really go anywhere, just used for marketing.

Me: Use your own information then.

Them: Why would I do that?

Me: Cause it's only used for marketing, doesn't really go anywhere and you have to put something in there, so use your own info.

I always give the name and postal code of the privacy commissioner.

 

[Gunnar]

Actually, I usually give the postal code for Santa Claus.  It's a valid postal code.  And the man has to do something in the summer.  And a lot of his elf-made gifts seem to have brand names on them.....so why not?

 

[armyvern]

H0H 0H0

Hotel Zero Hotel Zero Hotel Zero

Santa likes to get mail from naughty companies too.  :warstory:

Too funny; and, if they're letters carrying that postal code ... a lot of them end up at CFS Alert where your friendly neighbourhood "isolated" personnel set down to writing responses back. Some of the letters we got were very sad, some quite uplifting, and some downright hilarious. Out of the mouths of babes ... (although yes, some of the guys probably would have appreciated H0H 0H0 mail from babes of a different sort ...)

 

[King Elessar]

i read something in an article today that made me shake my head. it was an article about a mix-up at a 7-eleven where a guy was charged $2,323.49 for a pack of cigarettes and a Winnipeg Sun.

"I'm amazed, in this day and age of computers, that it takes a week to get this sorted."

"Hell, they can put a man on the moon in less time."

 

[Dissident]

Me to new troops while cleaning weapons/mags/bayonets:


If you drop a weapon part, thats 5 push up. 10 for a mag, 20 for a rifle and 40 for a MG.

New troop: What if you drop a grenade?

General laughter

Me: The hundred meter dash!

 

[Nonmedicinal]

Not said....but still funny. Saw a picture today a friend took on ex Charging Bison in Winnipeg of some protesters. One of the guys was holding up a sign that displayed "Canada out of Winnipeg!!!"