What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?

[emmiee]

"You MUST be from rural Hant's County; everyone knows that to properly diagnose the flu -- it's the thermometer marked "rectal" on the packaging that Mike's mom & dad will need to purchase."


Mike, your Mom can always get the "heat activated" strip thermometer. You can tape it to your forehead and they can come by and just read it anytime.

Emma

 

[midget-boyd91]

Mike, your Mom can always get the "heat activated" strip thermometer. You can tape it to your forehead and they can come by and just read it anytime.

Emma

Are you sure you're not the one from Hants County? 
And yes, I really am from rural Hants. And yes, I really am that much of a redneck.


Midget

 

[emmiee]

Are you sure you're not the one from Hants County? 
And yes, I really am from rural Hants. And yes, I really am that much of a redneck.


Midget

Just about

emmie

 

[MamaBear]

Seems to be a popular line with the 13 year olds too.

I'm still trying to come up with the puuurfect response for it.

How about "My darling child.  Fair is a four letter word, and you know full well that that type of language is NOT allowed in this house"!

 

[Scratch_043]

Mama, I'll have to remember that one.

 

[muffin]

"No, no... that's a real dragon, you idiot"

Could hardly believe it but I heard between my little sister and my brother in law
Sis "Where can I find a water dragon"
Brother in Law "Like... a real Dragon?"
Sis (rolling eyes) "Yes ... of course... a REAL one... a REAL dragon... "

 

[armyvern]

Could hardly believe it but I heard between my little sister and my brother in law
Sis "Where can I find a water dragon"
Brother in Law "Like... a real Dragon?"
Sis (rolling eyes) "Yes ... of course... a REAL one... a REAL dragon... "

Did you tell her that they live in Australia, or in the occasional zoo?

 

[muffin]

I told her it was probably too cold in Ontario to have that sort of thing in her garden in Feb... and took away her "how to Feng Shui" book  ;D

 

[armyvern]

I told her it was probably too cold in Ontario to have that sort of thing in her garden in Feb... and took away her "how to Feng Shui" book  ;D

They may call them dragons, but they still look a hell of a lot like lizzards to me.

Feng Shui ... LOL. She wants one for a Canadian (outside of BC) garden!!?? How old is she??

 

[Shiraz]

For my humiliation only.....

"mom will I grow a hair on my lip just like you before I get a beard?"

My son might be dead tomorrow.

 

[muffin]

They may call them dragons, but they still look a hell of a lot like lizzards to me.

Feng Shui ... LOL. She wants one for a Canadian (outside of BC) garden!!?? How old is she??

27 HAHA

 

[armyvern]

For my humiliation only.....

"mom will I grow a hair on my lip just like you before I get a beard?"

My son might be dead tomorrow.

Is he 15?? This is normal.  

This one from mine:

Jordan comes running into the room ... "Mom ... MOM!!! Is it normal for guys to have milky stuff oozing from their nipples!!??"

Mom ... "What!! NO!!!"

Jordan ... "Whew - good thing that I don't then" beating hastey retreat from my range.

I never know what to expect from him.

Once at the checkout to the grocery store, I remarked "I wonder if I've got everything (more speaking out loud to myself)"? He pipes up (loudly) with a "Maybe you can buy those boob implants here before we go."

 

[armyvern]

27 HAHA

oh my.

 

[Celticgirl]

I just got a large coffee at the local Tim's drive-thru. I gave the lady a $20 bill and she gave me $8.46 in change. Here's the conversation that followed:

Me: "I'm sorry, but I gave you a 20." (showing her the incorrect change in my hand)

Her: "No, you didn't. You gave me a 10."

Me: "No, it was a 20. I only had 20s on me."

Her: "No, you gave me a 10."

At this point, another Tim's worker intervenes and they look in the till. They are unsure of how many 10s and 20s they are supposed to have, so this doesn't help.

Her: "You gave me a 10."

Me: (sigh) "I gave you a 20. I didn't have any 10s on me. I just came from the bank machine. I only had 20s."

She reluctantly hands me a $10 bill. I thank her (with gritted teeth) and leave.

They need to start using IQ testing for Tim's applications, I swear.  :

 

[Bzzliteyr]

On the bright side, at least it wasn't a deer in the headlights look like when they aren't sure how much change to give you back when the machine doesn't work or they type in the wrong amount.

 

[Celticgirl]

On the bright side, at least it wasn't a deer in the headlights look like when they aren't sure how much change to give you back when the machine doesn't work or they type in the wrong amount.

True enough.   However, I was seriously worried I wouldn't get my money back because this person with the memory of an ant was so sure I had given her a $10 bill and not a $20. That would be one expensive coffee!

I was just telling my fiance yesterday how annoying it is when they just say "drive through" and don't tell you how much it is. At least twice now I've had that followed by an open hand at the window. I can do the math in my head, but why should I have to? They should be telling the customer how much the total is.  :  Today's little exchange topped those ones, though.    Yeesh!

 

[Bzzliteyr]

You know what I hate here in QC?  In line, before they start to even take your order, they ask whether or not it's take out.  I mean it's probably safe to assume that 90% of the people in line are they to go...

Mind you, a cool technique I have seen here in Montreal but nowhere else is as they work in a team of two and there is a huge line up, there is a woman on the sidelines asking you what you want drink BEFORE you get to the cash.  By the time you get there, the drink is ready and all you have to do is pay.  Very efficient.

 

[Haggis]

Once at the checkout to the grocery store, I remarked "I wonder if I've got everything (more speaking out loud to myself)"? He pipes up (loudly) with a "Maybe you can buy those boob implants here before we go."

I see your embaressing kid story and raise you this one:

We live in a rural area and have to go into town to a Korean run grocery store to pick up our packages.  One day while doing so, with my son in tow, Korean lady gives me the gears because I didn't bring the little postal notification card with me.  I tell her the parcel is in my wife's name and she called me to pick it up on the way home. She asks me for ID.  I whip out my I card.  She won't accept it because it doesn't match the photo in the book of acceptable IDs (old... really old book).  Korean guy comes over and they start arguing, in Korean, about my ID.

My son looks up and says "Daddy, why are they talking like babies?"

Following a looong, stunned silence, Korean guy gives me the package without another word and we leave the store.

 

[MedTechStudent]

A guy named Greg I used to work with at Tim Hortons back when I was 14 was on his last day before quitting.  This woman comes into the store, and I guess she came in every other day and Greg hated her just because of how arrogant and rude she was.  Now she had to be at least 80, so maybe is was just that whole generation block thing but anyways.  So she orders a coffee (the same one she always did, before sitting down to drink it by the window for three hours) and Greg goes to make it.  As he's leaving the woman says "Well aren't you going to do your job and take my money?"  I guess she had taken out a five while Greg turned around to make her coffee.  Greg goes bright red, looks at her and very sweetly and politely says.  "Ma'am the only other thing you have in your schedule today is to drop dead of old age, so you can be patient."

Needless to say I ran to the back room before dropping to the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.  I mean what he said was totally inappropriate especially in the customer service industry but still, oh the look on this woman's face was amazing.  Needless to say, they let Greg go home early from his last shift.   

 

[the_girlfirend]

This winter we had a lot of snow in montreal...

I was helping my boyfriend getting the car out of the drive way...
he gave me the tractions aids and I looked a him for 5 seconds and I asked:

"Do I put them in front of the tire or behind the tire?"  :-\

I deserve a trophy on this one...  ;D