I flew out of Afghanistan with a 9mm on my hip but the Brit security guy said "that knife is not allowed". My response "I've got a 9mm on my hip. You think the knife is a danger" and he let me pass.
I particularly enjoyed the pre-flight safety briefs delivered, in a very officious manner, by the RAF before we emplaned for Airborne exercises and were therefore decked out with thousands of rounds of blanks and tons of pyro.
One time, as the Blue Job got the part about 'no explosives' etc, one of my guys accidentally on purpose rolled a Shermully flare across the floor.
The Crab applied the Nelsonian blind eye and carried on unperturbed, of course
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