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The Military Wedding Superthread- merged

mariomike

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If you have already spoken to a Padre on base this may not be of use to you.

Regarding CFB Gagetown.

St. Luke's Chapel:
"Baptism and Marriage:
Arranged by appointment with a Chaplain. Minimum notice is three months. Instruction is required.":
http://www.cg.cfpsa.ca/cg-pc/Gagetown/EN/FamilyServices/ChaplainServices/stlukes/Pages/default.aspx

St. Mary's Chapel:
"Marriage:
Advance notice of six to twelve months is required. Attendance at a marriage preparation course is necessary. Call the Chapel for details.":
http://www.cg.cfpsa.ca/cg-pc/Gagetown/EN/FamilyServices/ChaplainServices/stmarys/Pages/default.aspx
 

Pat in Halifax

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That MIGHT be just an RC thing too. My wife and I went through the same and ended up with a JP marrying us. Don't get me wrong, I am a practising RC myself but found it quite offensive that an organization that does not allow it's leaders to marry and preaches celebacy prior to should not be providing me with advice for marriage...not to mentioned the 'covering up' of abuse scandals...oops, I mentioned it.
 

Quellefille

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We are not RC, we are protestants, and we are new to the area so we don't have a home church.  My old pastor did weddings with super short notice, and thats fine.  Especially when you had a couple new to the area who just wanted someone to say 'Do you?  Do you?  You're done"

I'm just frustrated that it's not been 3 days and theres been radio silence and how long does it take for one padre to walk to the other and say 'How much notice do you need to perform a protestant wedding?  I've got a couple who wants to marry asap"  I used to work with the military (Brookfield former agent) and god help ME if I didn't get back to my clients within the time frame.  Even if it was a 'Sorry, don't have an answer, give me another 48 hours'
 

mariomike

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Quellefille said:
I'm just frustrated that it's not been 3 days and theres been radio silence and how long does it take for one padre to walk to the other and say 'How much notice do you need to perform a protestant wedding?  I've got a couple who wants to marry asap"

For a Protestant marriage, "at least three months notice is required" seems typical.

CFSU ( Ottawa )
Protestant marriage:
"Ideally, a minimum of three months notice should be given since that gives time for the necessary preparation to happen that will help couples receive the very best assistance.":
http://www.cfsuo.forces.gc.ca/adm/cha-aum/ps-sp/marriage-mariage-eng.asp

Borden:
http://www.borden.forces.gc.ca/998/89/46/31-eng.asp
Protestant: "Marriages: By appointment (at least three months notice is required)."

Kingston:
http://www.army.forces.gc.ca/asu_kingston/chapels.aspx
Protestant: "The Chaplain General requires those wishing to be married by a military chaplain to attend a weekend pre-marriage course, offered the last weekend in March only. In addition we require a minimum of three months’ notice."

St. Luke's Chapel ( Gagetown ) in reply 100 is Protestant:
"Minimum notice is three months."





 

X2012

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To start off, sorry for the necro-post! I thought this was the place it would fit best, short of starting a new thread.

My boyfriend and I have been discussing getting married. As a NCdt just finishing ROTP this year, I'm not really in the know on the details of military life. We've talked about the things that I do know about (being apart for deployments/training, possible long hours, moving, leave, etc.), but I'm not sure if there are things that I've missed. I don't think anything will be a deal breaker, but I want both of us to go into this with our eyes open.

I'm also not clear on what happens on the military side of things WRT marriage. Do I need to let my CoC know beforehand? I'm having a hard time sorting out what effects getting married has on everything! I'm going to get in touch with my CoC tomorrow, but if someone could give me an idea of what changes, that would be great.

Any information would be appreciated! Thanks!
 

PuckChaser

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If you want to get married by a military chaplain, you have to do the CF marriage course. Otherwise I just walked into my OR after I got married and showed them the certificate from the church and they updated my persfile.
 

Journeyman

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X2012 said:
Any information would be appreciated!
Don't do it.

Finish your schooling, get commissioned, and spend some time learning your classification......and living. There's plenty of time for marriage down the road -- as well as time to regret the restraints and constraints you would be imposing upon yourself at this stage in your life/career.

That's about all the advice I have on this subject; take it for what it's worth. Best of luck, either way.
 

Ostrozac

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Journeyman said:
Don't do it.

Finish your schooling, get commissioned, and spend some time learning your classification......and living. There's plenty of time for marriage down the road -- as well as time to regret the restraints and constraints you would be imposing upon yourself at this stage in your life/career.

That's about all the advice I have on this subject; take it for what it's worth. Best of luck, either way.

And I would respectfully disagree -- there is no one marital career path, either for NCO's or for officers. Plenty of people join the CF already married, some marry early in their careers, some late in their careers, some remain single. Some people even find the time for several marriages. My first tour overseas, in my rifle company we had three brand new platoon commanders. One was single, one had just gotten married shortly after being commissioned, and one had a wife and a child.  All three were top-notch officers -- despite the fact that they had different family lives.
 

2010newbie

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PuckChaser said:
If you want to get married by a military chaplain, you have to do the CF marriage course.

It does not have to be the CF course. There is an Anglican military chaplain performing my ceremony and I am taking a Catholic marriage course from a local parish.
 

PuckChaser

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2010newbie said:
It does not have to be the CF course. There is an Anglican military chaplain performing my ceremony and I am taking a Catholic marriage course from a local parish.

Maybe its a Kingston thing, there are some special rules here.
 

Journeyman

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PuckChaser said:
Maybe its a Kingston thing, there are some special rules here.
It's only fair; 1 Div, RMC, JSR, LFDTS....Kingston has some "special" people.  :nod:
 

X2012

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Thanks for the input everyone! I think we'll be getting married at my church at home, so there's fewer people needing to travel, but it's good to know about the chaplain option as well. Now comes the adventure of trying to fit it in between training and stuff!
 

ModlrMike

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ExquisitelyChic said:
Wait, so anyone getting married by a Padre (even if they're Agnostic/Atheist) has to take the CF marriage course?

So it would seem. The course is more about marriage, than church. Although if one elects to get married in a church, one should accept a certain amount of "churchness" in the process.
 

dariel

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My fiance and I are getting married in a civil marriage on the 25th of April and I wanted to know if I'm allowed to wear my DEU's (he's a sucker for my uniform and has asked that I wear it) and if so I had some specific questions.

Do I have to wear the head dress during the ceremony (it will be outdoors, so I'm guessing yes but figured I'd ask)
May I wear my skirt or do I have to wear the pants
And what are the standards for hair, does the hair have to be up or can it be down as in mess dress

I'm most likely going to have additional questions but any help is appreciated.
Cheers!

 
M

MikeL

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Have you considered discussing this with your chain of command and requesting to wear your DEU?


The link mariomike provided should help you out as well,  but you still have to go through your CoC.
 

Cansky

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dariel said:
My fiance and I are getting married in a civil marriage on the 25th of April and I wanted to know if I'm allowed to wear my DEU's (he's a sucker for my uniform and has asked that I wear it) and if so I had some specific questions.

Do I have to wear the head dress during the ceremony (it will be outdoors, so I'm guessing yes but figured I'd ask)
May I wear my skirt or do I have to wear the pants
And what are the standards for hair, does the hair have to be up or can it be down as in mess dress

I'm most likely going to have additional questions but any help is appreciated.
Cheers!

If your in DEU's your hair will be up as per the Dress Regs and by up that means in a bun.  Even in Mess kit long hair is pinned up although I have seen many women wear an updo in a military style. 

yes you can wear your skirt with appropriate pumps, black with rounded toe no more than 2 in heel
 

PMedMoe

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Kirsten Luomala said:
If your in DEU's your hair will be up as per the Dress Regs and by up that means in a bun.  Even in Mess kit long hair is pinned up although I have seen many women wear an updo in a military style. 

yes you can wear your skirt with appropriate pumps, black with rounded toe no more than 2 in heel

Maybe a little "nitpicky", but where in the Dress Regs does it say that pumps must have a rounded toe?  ???
 
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