This is why Daddy drinks at Christmas

[aesop081]

artificially prop up your insecurities.  

....i would have said "deflate"  ;D sinc we are talking about her big ass

 

[navymich]

How about....don't ask the question?  We don't want to answer it, you won't like our answer.  Rely on your girlfriends to artificially prop up your insecurities. 

Personally, I don't ask the question.  If I don't like what I see, then I change, for me.  If and when I get a compliment from a guy, that it feels even better because it is coming without prompting.

 

[Jacqueline]

Yeah who asks the question these days?

 

[aesop081]

Ladies everywhere.....remember the old saying " don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer"

'nuff said

 

[Danjanou]

The minute the whole “honey do these pants make my ass look big?” question there is only one immediate action…. Leave immediately. Don’t respond, don’t lie, don’t try to change the subject. None of these will work and will only result in pain lots of pain.

You have an escape window of 3-5 seconds max and then you’re dead. Get out of the house and go and keep going. This is where I recommend the safety deposit box with her fake ID and info re the off shore account. Caymans is good, Panama is better.

If you don’t have this set up prior (and then maybe you deserve to die because you are obviously too stupid to live) the recommended alternative is the French Foreign Legion. It’s five years enlistment time for her to stop looking for you and seek a new victim (they won’t admit you’re their in the first place either). After that they give you a nice new name and ID to go with ( it’s usually a French Passport but no plan is perfect).

 

[George Wallace]

I think that calls for a DRINK.

You had better hurry, as the French Foreign Legion option is soon to be a thing of the past. 

 

[armyvern]

Buy her clothing that she says looks nice (make shore it is just right or smaller) 

Never do this!!! What are you trying to tell her? That she needs to go on a diet to fit into her smaller pants? That you prefer her a size or two smaller? Because that's what she'll hear!! And then, boy, are you ever going to hear it!!

If you do want to do this, buy yourself a shovel to dig that grave with.

Vern

 

[armyvern]

Theres no right answer to " do these pants make my *** look fat"

I have only ever heard one correct answer to this question...and boy he was either lucky or got lucky, or perhaps both!!  ;D

 

[Thompson_JM]

I have only ever heard one correct answer to this question...and boy he was either lucky or got lucky, or perhaps both!!  ;D

Are you going to give us this answer or make us  guess?

 

[GO!!!]

Never do this!!! What are you trying to tell her? That she needs to go on a diet to fit into her smaller pants? That you prefer her a size or two smaller? Because that's what she'll hear!! And then, boy, are you ever going to hear it!!

If you do want to do this, buy yourself a shovel to dig that grave with.

Vern

pish posh.

I would expect that in the 21 century, educated, intelligent (she married me!) woman should be able to hear the truth about their little bums, without blowing a gasket, bursting into tears or attempting to withold sex (seriously, no woman can resist me!).

You can't have it both ways; are you a delicate, retarded flower, who can't hear the terrible truth for fear it may turn on the tears? Or an empowered renaissance woman, who seeks and deserves the correct information when she asks a question?

The best way to ensure that you are not misunderstood is to tell the truth in as few words as possible.

"the jeans have nothing to do with it, the fact that you went to a candle party instead of the gym last night makes your a$s look fat"

See? Look at that, encouraging physical fitness, and discouraging shopping at the same time! Sometimes I amaze myself!

 

[Sig_Des]

Are you going to give us this answer or make us  guess?

It Doesn't matter how you look in those pants, you look great out of them?

 

[Thompson_JM]

It Doesn't matter how you look in those pants, you look great out of them?

Teach me oh jedi master.....

 

[Sig_Des]

Teach me oh jedi master.....

I dunno about that one...remember, I'm 50/50 slap/poured drink

 

[Klc]

50/50? I like those odds...  ;D

Better then I've ever came up with.

 

[IN HOC SIGNO]

OK Mich I was joking...I get it I really do. I'm going to try your suggestion. hehe...I think I'm learning ;D

 

[navymich]

Just for doing so well IHS, you don't have to come to school tomorrow.

Seriously though, make sure you let us know how the birthday gift turns out!!  We always like to hear from our graduates.

 

[Pea]

Wow.. How have I missed this thread?...

First of all, where is the drool icon?.. Robin's egg blue... God yes!!!

Vern, Mich.. good to see the men have been in good hands!! Listen to these ladies, I agree 100% with everything they have said.

 

[navymich]

How's this Pea:

 

[Pea]

  = 

;D

 

[IN HOC SIGNO]

Are we allowed to post things that make us drool??