How do the families cope during a tour? Tips and pointers for first timers.

[Shadow Cat]

We never did get together did we?  Man you are like five minutes from my house as well.  We should plan to get together maybe Saturday morning at the Tims for a coffee, what do you say?

Thanks for the offer of your DH.  So far I have done everythign from drywalling, which than produced mudding, replaced a bathroom sink and some eay stuff like painting, fixing cupboards, yard work and of course car maintenance.  I am learning lots of new things and I think after workgin with the plumbing I would love to be a plumber.  Coudl you imagine, me a girly girl doing plumbing lol.

Um what do you mean toddler teacher?  Do you mean that you babysit?  If so I am no longer in that range as my children are 13 and 11 now.  YIKES!  I feel old, really not but I do feel it.

 

[Springroll]

Saturday at Timmies sounds good to me!! I'll pm you my number.

I also feel old since I have an 11, 7 and 4 year old at home, but I am working at a learning center in Burnside. I seem to have a gift with the kids, so my boss stuck me with being the toddler teacher. It was tough at first becauser the kids didn't have any structure, but now that they know what is going on, they are better behaved and definitely more exhausted when it comes to naptime!

I told the other teachers that I tie the kids to chairs and make them listen to Yanni for hours, thats why they are so well behaved and well mannered now... ;D

 

[Shadow Cat]

Ahh I understand that comment about the toddler teacher now.  How about a preteen attitude adjuster? Are you interested. lol.

I work outside of home as well.  It is part of what keeps me sane while my Hubby is away.  I am a Transaction Coordinator for the city.  I am not really looking forward to leaving my job but being with my honey at some point is of more interest to me.

Send me your digits and we can arrange to get together at say what 9?  I hope that you are a morning person.

 

[Springroll]

I am a morning person, so 9 works perfectly!!

 

[army.gf]

wow, so many great ideas! I especially like the one of having a "star" at home and giving another to them to have on tour so you can both be comforted by it.
  When my boyfriend is in the field for long periods, i like to create an e-mail diary. Where I send him an e-mail for everyday he is gone explaining what i did that day and my thoughts and feelings. We found that this works especially well, because he is kept up-to-date on the things happening at home, and when we do get to speak there isn't a lot of catching up to do. He also said that coming home to an inbox full of e-mails from me is a nice treat!

 

[military granny]

My son is leaving in nine days for his first overseas mission.How did all you parents feel the first time?

 

[Franko]

Well, I can't comment because I'm not in the same situation.

Mind you I'm in Afghanistan on tour....and believe it or not, my mom and dad still get a bit worried. Only natural I guess.

So my question to you is:

How are you dealing with it? Have you talked about your concerns to him?

Do you have a plan to keep his moral up during his deployment?

Regards

 

[RoeRoe]

Well, this is my first time posting my opinion, my husband is on tour now, he has 2 months left.

  I have gotten through the tour ( barely) by keeping in contact very regularly with him, emails, phone calls ( although not enough), letters, and I send him regular care packages.  The care packages are GREAT for their morale as well.

  Just remember while your son is there, if he goes a few extra days without calling or emailing, don't let your imagination run away with you, the phones are most likely down or he is just too busy!!!! 

  My last piece of advice is prayer, if you are a religious person, keep him in regular prayer, it will give you peace.

  All the best to you and your son.

 

[military granny]

Hi Franko and RoeRoe
Well my son and i talk daily right now, and before he found out he was going to "the gan" we talked about twice a week. So yes he definitely knows of my concern. I guess I'm dealing with the situation in a lot of different ways, I try to keep busy and I also know quite a few guys hes going over with so I know they will look after one another. As for the time hes gone we have a very large family that all have his mailing address and know the rules for letters and parcels so he should be flooded with mail and care packages. He has told me to keep in contact with our MFRC which from what I hear is a very good one. Thanks for your info.

 

[Mike Bobbitt]

If you can plug yourself into a military community that would help as well. The MFRC is the best place for that, but there are also many other options, ranging from ad hoc meetings to online "chat" groups like this one. Stay involved and stay informed, it's the best way to understand what's going on and the more you understand, the less will be mysterious (and possibly worrysome) for you.


Cheers
Mike

 

[punkgirl]

Hello everyone, I am kind of new at this... My boyfriend has just left for a 6 month tour in Afganistan. It has only been 3 days since he has left and i miss him like crazy. This isn't his first time away. When he started his basic training he was really fast tracked through the whole procedure. He did his 10 weeks of basic then straight on to his SQ and BIQ. It was a whole 7 months that he was gone. When he came back we had 2 weeks together and then he was off for a field course in wainwright, for a total time away of just under 10 months. I have told him when he comes back that it is going to take me awhile before i want to lend him back to the army for another tour! I am just finding it a bit harder to keep my mind occupied this time. Before i lived in the same city as my parents but since the liberal government closed down the military base in Calgary 12 year (or so) ago, i have moved to the city where he has been stationed, Edmonton. I have my job but i don't really know anyone in the city, and i can only hang out with work people so much before i will go stir crazy. Does anyone in here live in Edmonton? Anyone have any ideas on how i can meet other army "wives" ? thanks for your help 

And i really liked the candy in a jar count down idea... if we are lucky enough to have kids i am going to keep that one on hand

 

[Randy]

Get in touch with the Edmonton MFRC.  They should have a deployment support coordinator who can put you in touch with the local spousal support group and/or unit homefront organisation.  You are not alone.

Randy

 

[Elisha]

Hey there are a few ladies from Edmonton on a variety of different websites.  I am from Edmonton, there are a few of us that meet for coffee every once in a while.


Elisha

 

[punkgirl]

Anyone from edmonton that will be going to the pot luck update for the families on Feb 26?

 

[camochick]

Is your bf with 1Vp cause my husband is 1Vp and he is in a-stan. I dont know if i am going to go to the potluck thing, but I will tell you that the first battalion family support is really great, so any problems or issues you have (other than taking out the garbage or shoveling the driveway) they can help you with. If you PM me I will give you my email addy if you want to chat sometime.

 

[TN2IC]

This is a great topic... my hats goes off to whom came up with this topic... great read... keep it up....

thanks for the info,
My wife and I were a little left in the dark, until now.
Thanks.

 

[Booked_Spice]

I just read through this post, So I wanted to bump this up.

My husband is currently in Afghanistan right now. Since this is our first tour, there have been ups and downs. I would like to hear how many spouses are out there currently on this ROTO. I also would like to see how everyone is doing. We are half way there...... ;D

 

[swahili]

My husband is also overseas. The past six months have been VERY long. He left beginning of December but was gone a few weeks before hand for training and the such, so it makes it feel very very long!

Before his leave, I didn't really send any packages or anything.... was too busy feeling sorry for myself and concentrating on staying sane while finishing up school and dealing with him being gone, to focus on anything but me! (haha)

But - after the leave, I began sending packages about every other week, of different things including books/magazines he subscribed to, croos-word type books, and the ALL IMPORTANT, Junk food. They have some stuff available there but - not the same so I was sure to send over things like pringles and chocolate (though it can melt) and tons of other stuff too, including some joke gifts which he liked....

We also were able to communicate fairly frequently by MSN or emails. Without those, I don't know how he or I would have made it through it all! haha - well, I'm sure we'd have made it through, we just found it made it a bit easier...

The most important thing is that, we have told ourselves from the beginning, we'll be there to help one another through thick and thin... we've had both good times and bad times since he's left but - we're staying strong... and - that has helped us more than any care package, MSN conversation or phone call

swahili

 

[Booked_Spice]

Couping with a tour.....

Well, plenty of Beer ( LOL) No in reality though , for those spouses who are going through a rough time. Here is my story...

This is our first tour and with 2 little ones it was hard at first. However, my advice would be is go to every function that the rear party or MFRC offers. This is where you go to meet people who are going through what you are. I am very lucky to have met some great ladies who understand what I am going through and we have helped each other through some rough times. Plus they bring me BEER.. LOL

If you have children here is some ideas.
We placed a huge world map on our playroom wall. We placed stickers of where Daddy is and the rest of our family. This helps our 3 yr understand. Every day we do a project or picture for Daddy and send it to him.
I never try to give the kids a date when Daddy will be home because you know the military dates change all the time and I don't want them to be upset if Daddy doesn't come home on the date that we first set.
Also, use deployment childcare if it is offered at your base. This gives you some much needed me time.
I also involve my children in the care packages as much as possible. My little one loves candy so she always sends her Daddy a whole pile of it. It does help that Hubby loves his junk food.
We also use our video camera alot and send Daddy lots of messages and put them into his care package.
Also prior to leaving for deployment Hubby made a some messages for the special dates that he would miss. He also made some messages for our little ones when they went through a rough time. So when the kids are feeling blue, I pop in a message and it cheers them right up just to see their daddy.

I also try to keep the children busy and mommy too.. Between Gymnastics, swimming and anything else I can get them into, it helps.

But the biggest thing I have to say. Is if you need HELP.. ask because there are other people going through the same thing you are and we are there to help each other. Even if it is just to vent away. I have also found this site very helpful and the chat room provides some much needed laughter.

Just realize that their are going to be some good days and bad days and take it day by day and drink plenty of BEER LOL...

 

[shaunswife]

WOW there are alot of great ideas here.  my dh is currently on tour, and this is his first.  we have 4 children, and its hard, on the both ove us.  while i try to be here for him nd listen to him, when he calls, its hard to stay strong all the time.  they say to stay busy and keep the kids busy, we do that, but it dosnt make it easier, just makes me more tired.

ill keep cjhecking for ideas

ang