This is why Daddy drinks at Christmas

[zipperhead_cop]

So who else got saddled with an unfathomable assembly/construction project?  Is there some rule that says if it is physically possible to ship something assembled, it should be taken apart?  Or that directions should have the most number of concurrent steps per diagram, with an inversely proportional amount of verbal direction?   :crybaby:

Here is how I spent the last two hours:

And clearly being told that "Dad, this is taking too long" was the helpful encouragement I was hoping for

Now it is quality time for Daddy and Mr. H Walker whose lovely gift has a black label on it.   
Anyone else feel like they should have started the day with an engineering degree?

 

[Mike Baker]

Yeah, sure, call it your kids stuff  >

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

I'm telling ya that's the secret Chinese plan to take over North America......driving the average adult male totally insane and inept with the bevy of lousy installation instructions on thier kids toys.

 

[Thompson_JM]

So this is what I have to look forward to when i have kids?

Suddenly Im glad I spent so much of my youth playing with Lego..... I should have a Leg up on how to assemble the 8 Million Pieces of the GI Battle Fortress or the Princess Pony Vanity Dresser.......    

God Help Me........  Somthing Tells me Afghanistan is gonna be easy compared to Parenting...  ;D

Great Avatar Pic Zip!  ;D

 

[Fishbone Jones]

Most of us fathers have to go through that cycle, but they get older. My daughter got a 1/2", 18.5 volt cordless drill and a B&D 4 1/2" angle grinder this year. Oh, and a tune up on her car. ;D However, you'll do years of penance before you reach that point

 

[kratz]

Yeah, sure, call it your kids stuff   >

I agree with Micheal Baker's comment. At least it offers me a smile.  

 

[Scratch_043]

There's one hint that I can give you that I learned a long time ago. That is to assemble everything on the eve of christmas/bithdays, to have it ready for the day of. (this goes for batteries in toys too)

That way, "Daddy, this is taking too long, I want to play!!" doesn't happen.

 

[zipperhead_cop]

Suddenly Im glad I spent so much of my youth playing with Lego..... I should have a Leg up on how to assemble the 8 Million Pieces of the GI Battle Fortress or the Princess Pony Vanity Dresser.......    

Nothing can prepare you.  Were talking assembly screws that need jewellers tools, and sticker locations that you would need fingers that articulate in 360 degrees.  What your training does provide is the discipline to not go on a killing spree as a result of the extreme mental distress.  

+1 Bruce on the obvious Chinese/Disney plot.

There's one hint that I can give you that I learned a long time ago. That is to assemble everything on the eve of christmas/bithdays, to have it ready for the day of. (this goes for batteries in toys too)

That way, "Daddy, this is taking too long, I want to play!!" doesn't happen.

Oh, very true.  I blew it on that one.  Sadly, I was arresting jagoffs and processing them until the end of the shift.  Cinderella's Princess Castle at 0400 seemed too brutal to contemplate.

 

[xo31@711ret]

...enjoy, it don't get any easier Dude! I have 2 daughters 9 & 13 (who think they are 19 & 23). Just when you think you're done with one  situation (eg putting together the insane contruction Xmas eve  :rage: ), a whole hockey-sock full of other 'fun-filled' (  :brickwall: ) situations need to be resolved / taken care of.....enjoy and Merry Christmas  LOL LOL HA! HA! HO! HEE! HEE! (...losing mind, have to go, heard something about a 'boyfriend'  :crybaby:  in the background  :threat: (note to self: must put 'the fear of god & 'her crazy ol' man' into the minds & souls of these young bucks!)


Happy Holidays to all & play safe!

 

[George Wallace]

I'm telling ya that's the secret Chinese plan to take over North America......driving the average adult male totally insane and inept with the bevy of lousy installation instructions on thier kids toys.

I thought that that was the lack of assembly instructions for the '64 Ruck.   

 

[Shamrock]

Mrs. Shamrock wanted some renovations for Christmas and I started with the electrical.  New outlets, new switches, and new lights.

Turns out our home was wired by a mad scientist.  The masterbedroom has four outlets; the fuse box has 1 label for the MBdrm (lights and outlets).  I kill it, swap out the outlets, outlet next outlet right.  Pop the cover off the next one, start unscrewing and... ZORT.   Run downstairs, put my hair out, clean up the burn marks, and check which fuse popped. 

#17: Hallway lights and plugs. 

Makes sense, it's on the wall across the room from the hallway.  As opposed to the one I had just changed, which shares the hallway wall.  Changes done, next outlet. 

ZORT.  

This one, about six feet from the other, is on a different fuse.  #24: Bathroom. 

At this point, I'm just going to hit the master fuse for everything.  And even still, I'm carrying a voltmeter and fire extinguisher just in case.

 

[proudnurse]

Oh boy, thank goodness my daughter JUST asked for the Barbies and Cabbage Patch Doll. Although her birthday is in January, my house could be the next!  :-\

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

Mrs. Shamrock out the outlets, outlet next outlet right.  Pop the cover off the next one, start unscrewing and... [glow 
At this point, I'm just going to hit the master fuse for everything.  And even still, I'm carrying a voltmeter and fire extinguisher just in case.

Never touch wiring without this fine piece of kit....................remember the guy wiring just cared about 'grids' not 'rooms'.

 

[larry Strong]

I saw the light and built the Granddaughters toys a couple of nights ago

 

[Hot Lips]

Nothing can prepare you.  Were talking assembly screws that need jewellers tools, and sticker locations that you would need fingers that articulate in 360 degrees.  What your training does provide is the discipline to not go on a killing spree as a result of the extreme mental distress.  

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Oh boys you really had no idea did you... ;D
Happy to say I took my dad's advice when my children were littler and I pre-built toys...and it was also great because I didn't have to monitor my vocabulary  in front of them while I was building these wonderful $%#!+ toys.

Merry Christmas and God Bless

HL

 

[IN HOC SIGNO]

OK here it is. Next year I'm going to start driving south as soon as block leave starts...I'm taking a little ceramic tree with me and on Christmas day I'm going to Church and kiss Mrs IHS and wish her a Merry Christmas. No presents...no rat race....Because......
This year having all the sprogs grown and out I thought I had it made...no more insane instructions, stickers blah blah,
She got me a whole bunch of stuff in august or so....so I ask her about a week ago....reasonable timing I'm thinking..."sooooo what do you want for Christmas?"
The frost was palable as she says "You should know what I want for Christmas?" (Oh crap I'm a dead man...I haven't been listening!)
"Ummm yes dear you're right but just remind me will you?" says I.
"Well I told you I wanted a luggage rack for my motorcycle" (I vaguely remember something about that)
So I google the website for luggage racks and say "Hey come here and show me which one you want."
Well that was the wrong thing to say....."Just forget it." she says "not really a surprise now is it?"
I ended up squeezing out of her girlfriend that she wanted an IPOD so I got her that....why do women make this stuff so hard on us?? :crybaby:
I'm just a man!!!

 

[17thRecceSgt]

"I'm just a man!!!"

+1 !

:rofl:

 

[Hot Lips]

OK here it is. Next year I'm going to start driving south as soon as block leave starts...I'm taking a little ceramic tree with me and on Christmas day I'm going to Church and kiss Mrs IHS and wish her a Merry Christmas. No presents...no rat race....Because......
This year having all the sprogs grown and out I thought I had it made...no more insane instructions, stickers blah blah,
She got me a whole bunch of stuff in august or so....so I ask her about a week ago....reasonable timing I'm thinking..."sooooo what do you want for Christmas?"
The frost was palable as she says "You should know what I want for Christmas?" (Oh crap I'm a dead man...I haven't been listening!)
"Ummm yes dear you're right but just remind me will you?" says I.
"Well I told you I wanted a luggage rack for my motorcycle" (I vaguely remember something about that)
So I google the website for luggage racks and say "Hey come here and show me which one you want."
Well that was the wrong thing to say....."Just forget it." she says "not really a surprise now is it?"
I ended up squeezing out of her girlfriend that she wanted an IPOD so I got her that....why do women make this stuff so hard on us?? :crybaby:
I'm just a man!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
This is the stuff that makes women laugh like hell together...such simple tasks...which cause such dispair in men...that's why God made you all good soldiers instead

HL

 

[medaid]

LOL oh my...thank God and any other deity you worship, that I dont have kids...I cant imagine what building those things have put you through ZC, however, I do feel for you on those long shifts in the cold. Here's to you brother. :cheers:

 

[Chimo]

But what a small price to pay for the honour of being called, "Dad"!