Thanks for the advise Booked Spice, this was exactly what I needed, a perspective from another Mom! I’m sure our daughter and I will make it though this tour fine, just like we have field exercises, etc. But the length of a tour can be daunting. Thanks again for the great advice and the support.
How do the families cope during a tour? Tips and pointers for first timers.
- Thread starter Franko
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My husband's first tour was the hardest, and all of the tips here are very helpful. The second and third times he went overseas I found myself bored and lonely but also being able to connect with the community seemed to help me to deal with a great deal of stress. I was also able to find work while he was away, and these days I find myself more busy at work than sitting at home worrying about what is happeneing over there.
For those with children, volunteering at the local family resource centre seems to be a great way to reconnect with families in your area, as well as keeping you busy.
For those with children, volunteering at the local family resource centre seems to be a great way to reconnect with families in your area, as well as keeping you busy.
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military granny said:
I look at it this way, its only two 3 month periods, or just 26 Fridays!
I will see my 'signifigant other' somewhere in Greece in December for my ROCL, which will be a good time to say the least.
I am looking forward to it.
On an other angle, its so important to have everything sorted out and in one hockey sock! Yes, from wills to any administrative matters. We have all our cars in both names, our house, and joint bank accounts. Just in case something happens to me, she will still have full access to everything as required. Yes, my old CAR through SISIP still is active. I even went as far as ensuring that my last wishes 'beyond the scope' of my will are in writing, and bought a grave plot in my home town of Quill Lake Saskatchewan (a whopping $50). A long ways from Australia and where I am right now. But, it a necessity, and less stress off Nancy and my family back in Canada, should anything happen to me when I am away.
From here, whats important to me is to remain in comms through the INet and phone, ensuring her that all is well, and it is good to hear her voice, the local parrots ' chirping' in the back gound, etc. Although I am away, in many ways with the technology, it does not seem that far.
Cheers,
Wes
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Wow this is a great thread.
My hubby is heading to Afghanistan in Feb. 07 and this is our first tour. I am a few province away from all my family and wil be raising our two year old boy alone. To top it off I have Crohn's disease and worry about getting sick whil he is away. Luckily I can count on my mother-in-law to hop on a plane and come to my aide.
I find I am feeling really overwhelmed with the looming tour and appreciate all the advice. I just wish it wasn't this tour, but that's the life. I can do the six months hands down, so long as I know he is coming back. The hardest part is sending him there and worrying all the time. I am a huge worrier, no wonder I am always sick.
My hubby is heading to Afghanistan in Feb. 07 and this is our first tour. I am a few province away from all my family and wil be raising our two year old boy alone. To top it off I have Crohn's disease and worry about getting sick whil he is away. Luckily I can count on my mother-in-law to hop on a plane and come to my aide.
I find I am feeling really overwhelmed with the looming tour and appreciate all the advice. I just wish it wasn't this tour, but that's the life. I can do the six months hands down, so long as I know he is coming back. The hardest part is sending him there and worrying all the time. I am a huge worrier, no wonder I am always sick.
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I loved all the advice that was given on this topic....especially from the husbands....well done!!
I am a survivor of not having any support system of any kind (Moose Jaw) and least to say it almost killed me (depression). I have to say I am so glad that I found this site so when hubby is away(hell who am I kidding, he is always away!!)
I have at least something, whether I need it or not, as a safety net.
Cheers
Sue
I am a survivor of not having any support system of any kind (Moose Jaw) and least to say it almost killed me (depression). I have to say I am so glad that I found this site so when hubby is away(hell who am I kidding, he is always away!!)
I have at least something, whether I need it or not, as a safety net.
Cheers
Sue
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Hey, I know this thread has received a lot of attention, however I would still like to reply! My husband is on tour now, not to Afghanistan again but to CFS Alert. I was worried at first because I had received much negative information about this posting. He has been gone almost 2 months now and I have just been keeping busy with the kids. The time is flying by. Yes there are times when I'm sad and miss him like crazy but that is normal when you love someone. All I can say is keep busy and put aside some ME time. For your wife that is. Then again my husband is safe in Alert so I'm not worried so much about anything happening to him. When he was in Kandahar I was a basket case but hat was our first tour with kids and 2 yrs ago when the media wasn't having a circus with it. So I can not imagine what it is like for the spouses here at home when their loved on is over seas now!
Hope I was able to help even a little bit!!! Cheers!
Hope I was able to help even a little bit!!! Cheers!
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My spouse is an RCR in Afghanistan. This is his sixth tour. A couple of things that I have learned over the years:
1. DON'T wait by the phone. Some units do not get a chance to use their 30 minutes a week.
2. Keep a note pad by the phone and write down things that you want to tell him when he phones, good things that you want to tell him about the kids/dog/cat/house.
3. Have a good support network around you. (the 1RCR wives have started a support group/get together that meets once a week- we have also set up a web page that has info on it---- 1rcrwives.com).
4. Take any news that you hear/read with a grain of salt.
5. If you have children keep positive.
JB
1. DON'T wait by the phone. Some units do not get a chance to use their 30 minutes a week.
2. Keep a note pad by the phone and write down things that you want to tell him when he phones, good things that you want to tell him about the kids/dog/cat/house.
3. Have a good support network around you. (the 1RCR wives have started a support group/get together that meets once a week- we have also set up a web page that has info on it---- 1rcrwives.com).
4. Take any news that you hear/read with a grain of salt.
5. If you have children keep positive.
JB
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Well hubby just deployed and this is our first tour. We are four days into it. I found the first two really hard, but he actually managed to send off two emails, we chatted on msn once and I got my first phone call last night (a huge boost for me).
I'm a 3VP wife and we too have a great network set up here. The family services for 3VP has a web forum set up for the deployed familes.
http://z6.invisionfree.com/3_PPCLI_Home_Front/index.php?
People are slowly signing up, so I am hopeful that it will be a good support tool.
As for me, I know I am still really new to the whole deployment thing but I am trying to stay as busy as possible. I lacked all motivation the first few days, but since that first call I feel ready to get moving. I find email the best form of contact so far. I can read and re-read his emails and I can send him all of my thoughts without worrying about leaving anything out. Msn was pretty good too, but I found it kind of rushed just like the seven minute phone call. I didn't want to waste time telling him about my boring day, so I found I just kept asking him if he was okay.
I consider myself quite fortunate to being going through this now. Can you imagine going six months with little to no contact? I have high speed internet so my email is always downloading and alerting me, my msn is always on and with msn plus you can set your loved ones log on to have a specific sound, song, what not... and I have a smart phone so if I ever go out I have my msn running on my phone and I forward all my house calls. I don't think I can miss a thing
I am also keeping pretty busy, getting involved and trying to get our son involved even if it is just colouring something to put in Daddy's care pack. I can't wait till it is nice out so I can get him out and about. It will save my sanity. I can't wait for the nice weather, so we can go for long walks.
For those of you who have been through this before... hats off. It is hard. For those first timers like me... I wish you well and hope it gets easier as I am told it will.
Cheers!
I'm a 3VP wife and we too have a great network set up here. The family services for 3VP has a web forum set up for the deployed familes.
http://z6.invisionfree.com/3_PPCLI_Home_Front/index.php?
People are slowly signing up, so I am hopeful that it will be a good support tool.
As for me, I know I am still really new to the whole deployment thing but I am trying to stay as busy as possible. I lacked all motivation the first few days, but since that first call I feel ready to get moving. I find email the best form of contact so far. I can read and re-read his emails and I can send him all of my thoughts without worrying about leaving anything out. Msn was pretty good too, but I found it kind of rushed just like the seven minute phone call. I didn't want to waste time telling him about my boring day, so I found I just kept asking him if he was okay.
I consider myself quite fortunate to being going through this now. Can you imagine going six months with little to no contact? I have high speed internet so my email is always downloading and alerting me, my msn is always on and with msn plus you can set your loved ones log on to have a specific sound, song, what not... and I have a smart phone so if I ever go out I have my msn running on my phone and I forward all my house calls. I don't think I can miss a thing
I am also keeping pretty busy, getting involved and trying to get our son involved even if it is just colouring something to put in Daddy's care pack. I can't wait till it is nice out so I can get him out and about. It will save my sanity. I can't wait for the nice weather, so we can go for long walks.
For those of you who have been through this before... hats off. It is hard. For those first timers like me... I wish you well and hope it gets easier as I am told it will.
Cheers!
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Hello Everyone,
I have my boyfriend who is currently deploited....Our relationship is on the newer side.....
I worry about him alot when I don't hear from him in 3 days..when he doesnt call ...when he doesn't e-mail.
I have a hard time with dealing with this....any tips ?
He is coming back sometime this month for a break ...what do you suggest i do for him when he comes?
Thanks a million,
Jacqueline
xoxox
I have my boyfriend who is currently deploited....Our relationship is on the newer side.....
I worry about him alot when I don't hear from him in 3 days..when he doesnt call ...when he doesn't e-mail.
I have a hard time with dealing with this....any tips ?
He is coming back sometime this month for a break ...what do you suggest i do for him when he comes?
Thanks a million,
Jacqueline
xoxox
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Jaqueline,
Welcome to the site. I wish your loved one a safe tour while he is deployed as a matter of fact, there is a wealth of information in the "homefront" section of this site. Take some time to kick back, relax and read as there are many of us out here that have shared your experience. You will also find topic's on making care packages... you could take some time to send him some of his favourite things from home. It is very normal, not to hear from him while he is away, because he is probably quite busy where he is right now. Keep him updated on your days through email and letter mail to him.
Take care ~ Rebecca
Welcome to the site. I wish your loved one a safe tour while he is deployed
as a matter of fact, there is a wealth of information in the "homefront" section of this site. Take some time to kick back, relax and read as there are many of us out here that have shared your experience. You will also find topic's on making care packages... you could take some time to send him some of his favourite things from home. It is very normal, not to hear from him while he is away, because he is probably quite busy where he is right now. Keep him updated on your days through email and letter mail to him. Take care ~ Rebecca
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Jacqueline,
There are family resource centre facilities available to you.
They can put you in contact with other spouses who are in the same boat AND
they can help you when you are in need..... DO NOT hesitate to use their services... they are there to help you.
There are family resource centre facilities available to you.
They can put you in contact with other spouses who are in the same boat AND
they can help you when you are in need..... DO NOT hesitate to use their services... they are there to help you.
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Go here:
http://www.forces.gc.ca/site/family/CFFR-7_e.asp
http://www.forces.gc.ca/site/family/CFFR-7_e.asp
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Hello everyone, thank you for starting this forum. I have read many of the posts trying to find someone in my same situation as I , but have not. You see I am a U.S. citizen and my better half is Canadian. Not unusual but here is what is different. He is CF and is due to be deployed to Afganhistan. I still live in the U.S. My career does not afford me to live in Canada (yes, I tried and loved living there, however I could not find employment in my field so I moved back so I would not loose my skills)
We do communicate daily and I am there every chance I get. I have a lot of questions that I have asked him, however, I still have a whole lot more. I don't want to cause him any more stress that pre-deployment/deployment creates, so I will be asking all of you.
One question is. How do I send things to him from outside Canada? I know the central post for all mail is in Bellville, but does it work the same way?
Also, I can not participate in family support because I'm not physically there. By this I mean the support groups, coffeetimes, offering assistance to others ...etc...this I feel badly about. One suggestion he gave me was to go to the local military base here ( I live near two of them) and participate there...well that would be great and this is what happened when I called, after I got the "great to meet you welcome" things..."Oh he's Canadian military? Well you have to participate there"...so I feel like I'm between a rock and a ......rock....
Thanks for any suggestion(s)
emma
We do communicate daily and I am there every chance I get. I have a lot of questions that I have asked him, however, I still have a whole lot more. I don't want to cause him any more stress that pre-deployment/deployment creates, so I will be asking all of you.
One question is. How do I send things to him from outside Canada? I know the central post for all mail is in Bellville, but does it work the same way?
Also, I can not participate in family support because I'm not physically there. By this I mean the support groups, coffeetimes, offering assistance to others ...etc...this I feel badly about. One suggestion he gave me was to go to the local military base here ( I live near two of them) and participate there...well that would be great and this is what happened when I called, after I got the "great to meet you welcome" things..."Oh he's Canadian military? Well you have to participate there"...so I feel like I'm between a rock and a ......rock....
Thanks for any suggestion(s)
emma
