More and more funnies.. vol: something...

[Steve_D]

Something for my fellow Navy peers

The most interesting MARS Officer in the World.


He is always the stand-on vessel.
Stars navigate by him.
He always eyeballs it.
He wears his salt & peppers under his NCDs.
The equator crosses him.
He has sailed the eighth sea.
He finished his NOPQ in two days. The first was spent clearing in.
Career Managers ask him about their career progression.
He doesn’t dead reckon…he dead knows.
He maintains a permanent no-shave chit signed by Comd RCN.
His ships are not worked-up by Sea Training, they are ADMIRED.
He won the annual shiphandler of the year award in 1996…twice.
The carrier does plane guard for him.
Marine mammals avoid him.
Clocks retard and advance to conform to him.
He once conned a ship alongside the tanker…….while aboard the tanker.
Comd RCN asks him for permission to carry on with duties assigned.
He has caught a leviathan and a mermaid. He released them both, of course, and wished them well.
Aviators ask him for stories.
His DWAN account works flawlessly.
He invented the Mo Board.
He is always on station.
Dolphins taught him the sonar equation.
He maintains the Secret Watch & Station Bill.
His sea stories have changed foreign policy.
He went to sleep, once. He wanted to know what it was like to be a Supply Officer.
He can carry an open coffee cup from gland space to the bridge without spilling a drop.
CO’s call him to report contacts.
The Rules of the Road read, “Whatever this man wants”.

He is… the most interesting MARS Officer in the world!


- Stay angry my friends.

- Stay tired my friends.

- Stay sleepless my friends.

- Stay on station my friends.


Cheers,

 

[Journeyman]

Aviators ask him for stories.

  ;D

 

[BeyondTheNow]

Something for my fellow Navy peers

The most interesting MARS Officer in the World.


He is always the stand-on vessel.
Stars navigate by him...


He is… the most interesting MARS Officer in the world!


- Stay angry my friends.

- Stay tired my friends.

- Stay sleepless my friends.

- Stay on station my friends.


Cheers,

Wonderful!

For some reason I could go for a Dos Equis

 

[MikeL]

Probably the most official looking version I've seen of this form

 

[Loachman]

If only it was free of spelling, capitalization, and punctuation errors - although, I suppose that's a not-entirely-inaccurate reflection of the quality of current staffwork. Perhaps that makes it even more authentic.

 

[observor 69]

 

      I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her,

What day is tomorrow?".



Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Prime Minister Day!".



She's smart, so I asked her "What does Prime Minister Day mean?".



I was waiting for something about Trudeau or Martin, etc.



She replied, "Prime Minister Day is when Prime Minister Harper steps out of the Prime Minister Mansion,

And if he sees his shadow, we have 4 more years of Bull Shit."



You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!

 

[The Bread Guy]

Long live Doctrine Man!

Also, a Tumblr page with ships with funny names.....

 

[Rifleman62]

Wife of the Year!

 

[BeyondTheNow]

Meme: "You had one job to do..."

 

[BeyondTheNow]

Calvin & Hobbes and real life. I'm a huge fan of the comic, these are cute.

http://imgur.com/gallery/wGZUA

 

[J.J]

Harden the f#^* up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmJuMStuhC4

 

[cphansen]

Harden the f#^* up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmJuMStuhC4

Theres no harden the f#^* up needed.

Did you not see what the video showed?  The man, after being sprayed with something like pepper spray, worked thru it's effect on him and he completed the exercise.  He didn't quit, he completed the drill.

Now some questions for you, what were the trainers, Navy, infantry, engineers or MP? Second question for you, what was the student's first name? What breathing technique did the instructors tell the student to use to help him calm down?

Even a clip like this full of noise and drama can show us things and help us learn to focus on what's going on behind all the noise.  There are many more things going on in that clip that we could observe if we don't lose our focus

 

[J.J]

Theres no harden the f#^* up needed.

Did you not see what the video showed?  The man, after being sprayed with something like pepper spray, worked thru it's effect on him and he completed the exercise.  He didn't quit, he completed the drill.

Now some questions for you, what were the trainers, Navy, infantry, engineers or MP? Second question for you, what was the student's first name? What breathing technique did the instructors tell the student to use to help him calm down?

Even a clip like this full of noise and drama can show us things and help us learn to focus on what's going on behind all the noise.  There are many more things going on in that clip that we could observe if we don't lose our focus

I have been sprayed several times, I have observed dozens of people sprayed in a training environment, I have been present when it has been used in the field. I have never seen a reaction like that.

 

[GnyHwy]

I like toast!

 

[cupper]

I like toast!

:rofl:

 

[observor 69]

Traffic Camera:

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured
that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he
knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the
block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the
camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he
drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera
again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this
a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled
past, this time at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, he got five
tickets in the mail for driving without a seat
belt!                                                         

 

[Rifleman62]

I didn't check Snoops on this, but I'm sure it's true.
When he becomes The Pope, I hope he leaves the USA permanently!!!!

Next step: GOD.


WASHINGTON, DC - Sources close to the White House have learned that Barack Obama is planning to run for the office of Pope when the College of Cardinals convenes to elect a successor to ailing Benedict XVI at the end of this month. Calling on the promise of Equality for All, Obama is said to firmly believe that the time has come for a non-Catholic to occupy the Vatican 's highest office.

Foreseeing a looming citizenship issue, he states that he has discovered an Italian birth certificate that proves he was born in Rome before he was born in Kenya . "That Hawaiian birth certificate never has been worth what I paid for it, anyway", he noted.

Continuing, he concluded, "And there's no way that a handful of cardinals could be more expensive to buy than 10 million voters in Michigan ." Further questions should be directed to Obama's Papal Campaign Manager, Abdul Azeem Khan.

 

[BeyondTheNow]

How dare they....

 

[57Chevy]

"You're an ass half !"
"Why ?"
"Because it would take two of you to make an ass whole !"

Robin Williams ( from the movie Cadillac Man )

 

[observor 69]

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman
who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend?  She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'

  'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'